THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT ROMANCE

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife: as though they had one body.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
GENESIS 2:24 GMRV

Do you remember the first time that you were naked in front of your spouse? Everyone has had their own experience, but I think that in all of us, there was this initial feeling of insecurity. I remember the first time I made love to my husband, I was so insecure! I wondered what he thought of me. I wondered if he found me attractive. In the romance novels you always read of how the woman falls into the man's arms and is swept away with passion. Forget being swept away with passion, the whole time I wondered if I was doing it right and what was going through his mind!

Not very romantic at all is it? Well it was round about that time that I discovered that the things I had read in romance novels were just that...novels...story books. Reality and fantasy did not mix and it took me a while to discover that romance was not something that just happens, but something you grow into together. I learned that passion was not just based on the flesh, but something that is developed in your soul too.

As time went on, I became more comfortable being naked around my husband. We had a wonderful sex life and I felt like the most blessed woman in all the world. Yet something was lacking. Even though I knew the "breathless passion" was something only to be found in story books, I was sure that there was more romance to be found in a marriage.

So I did what any sensible woman would do. I prayed that my husband would come right! I prayed that he would learn to be more romantic. Well you know how the Lord is. When you pray and give Him an opportunity to bring change in your marriage, He usually starts with the person who thinks they need the least help. In this case...it was me. Was I in for a surprise! The Lord did not waste any time at all in showing me my very closed heart. He showed me how even though I had a loving and tender husband, that I chose rather to get my emotional and other soulish needs met in my work and in other people.

Instead of being satisfied with just lying in his arms, I had to get up and work and strive and do other things to meet that need. Only when I had pushed myself hard and worked as much as I could, did I feel I had accomplished. Not only had this brought a very big wall between us, but it also killed any chance of romance! I suddenly realized that it was impossible for my husband to romance me at all, while I was running around getting my needs met elsewhere.

It was during this time that I truly came to learn about a heavenly marriage. So just like the first time we made love, I took a chance and removed the clothes and the covers from my heart. I opened my heart to my husband and began to share my needs, desires and cares. Then I did not run off and do work, but chose to lay in His arms and to allow his touch and his words to comfort me and meet my need. Something miraculous happened that night and I could relate to Adam and Eve in our passage above who "felt no shame" even though they were both naked. For the first time I could have my husband there to meet my need and then together we could come into the presence of the Lord.

Perhaps you find it easy to talk with your spouse and share all your cares with them, but are you also ready to allow them to meet your needs? Or do you say what you need to say to your spouse and then go and have a drink, watch a move, get on chat with someone else, go out or get some more work done?

The key is not just about sharing your heart, but waiting a little while to find rest and fulfillment with your spouse.

This is not a complicated thing. How difficult was it to take off your clothes the first time? It was not hard at all! It just took a simple choice and the rest followed. Well being naked in spirit and in soul is the same choice. It means making a choice to stay with your spouse a little longer. To look into their eyes a little longer and to choose to put away the other things that have been meeting your needs up until now.

This Story Has A Happy Ending

Even though things started off bumpy with my husband, I am pleased to say that this story does have a happy ending. I discovered that the novels and story books left out a whole chapter on real romance and passion. With that one little choice, something began to happen in our marriage. Suddenly my husband found me more attractive than ever and suddenly I found my husband more attractive than ever. We could not wait to get alone in the evening and would often feign weariness so that we could chase the kids to bed and take an extra hour together. Our times of communication in the evenings became fun!

Suddenly I wanted to make love more...to just be with him! My husband was pleasantly surprised, but did not ask any questions, just enjoying the moment. As for me, I discovered that my husband was an incurable romantic after all. I had just never hung around long enough to see it.

So let me both challenge and encourage you today. Romance, passion and joy are God's gifts to you in marriage. When you allow your marriage to be the one thing that entertains, encourages, motivates and blesses you, everything else will fall quickly into place. When you are secure in your marriage, you can handle any kind of pressure or stress. So I challenged you...get naked with your spouse. Not just physically, but bare your heart to them also and then just wait in their presence and allow them to meet the needs and desires you have.

It is a big leap to a relationship that is more romantic...more passionate...more HEAVENLY!