3 Ways to Keep the Peace in Your Marriage this Christmas

by Gary Chapman

Christmas should be one of the happiest times of the year. After all, this is when we celebrate the birth of Christ. However, many times we find ourselves grumbling and arguing during this season more than any other.
So what should you do when your seasonal cheer decays into conflict and your Christmas tidings turn to marital tension?

1. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

Many people focus on the negative aspects of life for so long that they have difficulty seeing anything worth celebrating. Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the most important things you can do to enhance the emotional climate of your marriage.
So how do we develop this attitude? Think back over a day and ask yourself a few questions: "What have I complained about and to whom did I complain? What is it like living with me?"
If you are really serious, ask your spouse, your children, and at least one work associate this question: "What have you recently heard me complain about?" Write their responses down as they share them with you. Often our self-perception is very different from how others see us. If we are going to move from grumbling to gratitude, we have to be honest about our attitude.

2. Appreciate the Little Things

Verbalize gratitude for the little things in your life. Look around you and verbally thank God for the things you see. It's a simple thing, but it brings to the front of your mind the many physical things for which you can be grateful.
Each week during the month of December, express gratitude to your spouse and family for something you appreciate about them. If gratitude is going to become a way of life, we must look for the positive things in all of our relationships.

3. Move Beyond Bah Humbug

Christmas cheer only lasts a few weeks, but the joy that comes from knowing Christ should last year-round. The next time you hear yourself grumbling about something, apologize to God for breaking His commandment:
"Do everything without grumbling and arguing" (Philippians 2:14).
Then apologize to the one you offended. Apologizing for our failures is one of the fastest ways to get rid of a negative attitude. If during the month of December you replace grumbling with gratitude, you will lay the foundation for a wonderful new year in 2015.
This article is courtesy of HomeLife magazine.
Gary Chapman, Ph.D., hosts two national radio programs: "A Love Language Minute" and "Building Relationships." Both are on the Moody Broadcasting network and can be downloaded at FiveLoveLanguages.com. Gary is the author of The 5 Love Languages and marriage conference leader and serves on the staff of Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, N.C.