How to Receive Feedback as a Pastor

September 21, 2015

You’ve just finished a sermon or led a meeting and someone approaches you and asks, “Are you open to some feedback?” These are the words that no one hopes to hear, but how you handle the next 10 minutes has a lot to do with who you are and who you will become as a leader.
Here are some tips for the next time someone offers you feedback:

1. Thank them. If someone gives you feedback, assuming they aren’t mean-spirited, make sure you thank them. It always takes courage to give constructive criticism because you never know how it will be received. If the first words out of your mouth are, “I really appreciate you bringing this to me,” it puts them at ease and makes the conversation more productive.
2. Don’t be defensive. Since no one likes to be wrong, your initial reaction will probably be to get defensive. If you spend your energy forming a rebuttal rather than listening, you may miss something God wants you to hear.
3. Don’t take it personally. When someone gives you feedback, it’s often about a specific thing you have done or said; however, we tend to hear and process it about who we are. They may say something like, “I want to talk to you about something you said,” and we tend to hear, “I think you’re a terrible person and want to give you some examples.” If you can remember that they’re talking about a specific issue or event and not you as a person, it will help you receive their words without becoming defensive, sad, or angry.
4. Ask for clarification. Rather than rebutting or arguing make sure you ask non-defensive questions about the feedback to further understand their concerns. See if you can paraphrase what they said – they will feel heard and you will be sure you didn’t misunderstand them.
5. Realize you may be very grateful later. As you look back on your life, there have probably been pivotal times when people gave you feedback that you didn’t want to hear. These conversations may not have been pleasant at the time, but they have become a helpful part of your growth. Remembering that this conversation could become the next one of these moments you’re grateful for will help you view this as a gift and not an attack.
6. Articulate next steps. Sometimes next steps and action items will be very clear. Other times it makes sense to take time to process the feedback and even ask others that are close to you if they think the feedback is even accurate. Let the person who gave you feedback know what you plan to do so that they won’t feel their words landed on deaf ears.

Being open to feedback is always optional. You can become the kind of person that immediately deflects so that no one will dare approach you, but if you choose this path your idiosyncrasies will grow, they will become evident to everyone but you, and your leadership will be negatively impacted.
Great leaders are open and teachable and see feedback as better than hollow affirmation (Proverbs 27:6). Great leaders see sharpening as a helpful gift of other believers (Hebrews 10:24). Great leaders don’t accidently become self-aware, wise, and effective. They pay attention to feedback and even ask for it. It is not the well-worn path of ease but rather the hard narrow path to effective leadership.

Filed Under: Helpful Articles: Ministry Issues