Stop Calling Your Wife Hot

By Barnabas Piper

“Tell her she is smokin’ hot all you want. But don’t tell the rest of us because it does no good for anyone.”

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I saw a tweet from a friend recently that said “If I hear one more Christian guy call his wife hot (every time he talks about her), I’m going to throw a plate at the wall.” I suggested that he actually throw the plate at the guy calling his wife hot, or “smokin’ hot” for that matter (tongue in cheek, of course). Maybe it would knock some sense and normalcy into them.
Fellas, calling your wife hot to other people is awkward. We can’t agree with you. That would be really weird. We can’t disagree with you. That would be really mean. Ignoring you is rude, but it’s probably our best option in this case. Do you really want us trying to determine if your wife is, in fact, hot? I’m glad you think she’s a 10. You should. But calling attention to her hotness doesn’t honor her as much as it creates an opportunity for others to judge. And that’s just awkward.
It’s also subjective. You think your wife is hot. In fact, you think she’s the hottest, just as you should. But what if other guys don’t? Do you really want to raise that issue? And what if they do? Do you really want to know, or to bring it to their minds? Your wife is your standard of beauty, or at least she should be. But every time you call her hot (which refers exclusively to physical beauty, unlike “beautiful” or “lovely” or “amazing,” all of which can encompass personality and character), you are making her a standard of beauty for others. You are talking about her objectively; that is to say, you are objectifying her. Bad idea.
It is a great thing to honor your wife publicly. It’s good for people to know your devotion to her and how much you love her. It’s good for people to know you are attracted only to her and want only her. But keep the hotness talk inside the walls of your home. That’s between you and her. Tell her she is smokin’ hot all you want. But don’t tell the rest of us because it does no good for anyone.