My Life and Walk With God: April 2015

Kamis, 30 April 2015

7 Reasons You May Not Be Achieving Your Dreams

By Ron Edmondson

Recently I posted 7 steps to achieve your dreams. I love helping people attain their God-given visions.

It occurred to me that there may be an additional post needed.
The fact is that more people will look back on their life and wish they had done more with their life than they did.
I heard someone once say something like, “If you’re not careful, your “hope to do’s” will become your “wish I had’s.” I have many of those areas in my life. I want the next phase of my life to be different.

Here are seven reasons you may not be achieving your dreams:

You have no dreams—You may have some, but you’ve never recorded them. You never set some tangible goals that get you closer to your dreams. Only then can you analyze them and organize them into reachable and attainable dreams.
You have no plan—A dream without a plan is just a dream. A dream with a plan is an avenue to success. You can’t “work the plan” if you never wrote one.
You need accountability—We were designed for relationships. Sometimes knowing someone is going to hold you accountable is enough incentive to follow through. Give a few people the freedom to challenge you to work the plan.
You are afraid to share the load—If you are trying alone for fear of sharing your dream, you’ll also have no one with whom you can really share the victory. Sharing the load builds synergy, makes a stronger effort and keeps your ego from sidelining your progress.
You’ve given up—You may have had a setback and now you’re afraid to try again. Successful dreamers are willing to get up after a fall, knowing they will be stronger and better equipped the next time.
You aren’t willing to take a risk—Fear can sometimes be a powerful motivator, but most of the time it’s one of our biggest stumbling blocks. Some of the best moments of your life are hidden in your fears. Risk-taking and dreaming go hand-in-hand. If the dream requires no risk, it isn’t much of a dream.
You never got started—Every road to success begins with one step. If you don’t start, you’ll certainly never finish. What step do you need to take?
Are any of these your reason for not achieving your dreams? What would you add to my list?
Be sure to read 7 Steps to Achieving Your Dreams

Ron Edmondson is a pastor and church leader passionate about planting churches, helping established churches thrive, and assisting pastors and those in ministry think through leadership, strategy and life. Ron has over 20 years business experience, mostly as a self-employed business owner, and he's been helping church grow vocationally for over 10 years. More from Ron Edmondson or visit Ron at http://www.ronedmondson.com/

Lacy's Surprise

by Thomas Jeffries

Derek Matthews isn't really sure why he stayed on the airport train that day.

It might have been exhaustion; he'd already been up for hours, rising in darkness to catch the 6 a.m. flight home to Denver. Maybe he just didn't have the energy to do what he usually did — to make the long walk across the pedestrian bridge from Concourse A to the terminal. Most likely it was his husbandly sense of duty and devotion: It was his anniversary, after all, and he wanted to hurry home to Lacy.
He'd arranged to take the day off, and he was going to spend it with his wife. Heaven knows they could use some time together. To be honest, the first 14 years hadn't always been easy. To be really honest, they'd had their share of struggles, more than a few big arguments and plenty of hurt feelings.
But today would be different. Today the plan was to grab a bite at their favorite breakfast place, just the two of them, and spend the rest of the day together. So Derek Matthews did what he rarely does. He stayed on the train — all the way to the Jeppesen Terminal of Denver International Airport, where he shuffled along with the families and fellow business travelers, up two escalators to the main level.
"As I got to the top of the escalator, I remember looking to my left, and there's a woman dressed in a wedding dress," Derek recalls. "Then it hit me, and I went numb. Is that really my wife?"

Lacy Matthews thought back to 2010, back to the day she and Derek made the hour drive south to Colorado Springs, Colo., for a Focus on the Family marriage conference. The event theme was commitment, and she can still remember how the speakers described fault lines that often appear after a few years of matrimony.
"Like most married couples, we've experienced some pretty rough patches," Lacy says, "and the advice we heard at that Focus on the Family event helped us tremendously. They explained that the years between seven and 15 [of a marriage] can be extremely difficult. When raising kids and building a career, it's easy to lose sight of who you fell in love with. That's when most couples give up."
Lacy didn't want that to happen — wasn't about to let that happen. And when her 14th anniversary rolled around, she wanted to do something special.

It was Lacy all right. Lacy in a wedding dress. Lacy in her wedding dress — the same one she'd worn 14 years earlier. Only this time she didn't have the same special shoes or earrings or a stylist to do her hair and makeup, so she made do with a pair of cowboy boots and a couple of good friends. And a sign — a really big one. At least 3 feet tall, with big, bold letters:
Derek, I'd do it all over again! I ♥ you!
Derek barely noticed the sign. He was too busy staring at the woman in the wedding dress. And running to her. And hugging her.
"I was happy," Derek says. "I was also stunned. Wow, this is for me. This is for us."
"She was — in a very expressive way — letting everybody know that she was proud to be my wife, and proud to be with me, and didn't care who saw it or who heard it. And that meant a lot."
Lacy says she reads Thriving Family magazine "from front to back cover," so when she came across an article on keeping fun alive in marriage ("A Laugh Between Us," Summer 2012), she wanted Focus to know what she did at the airport to make her husband laugh — and what she learned at that 2010 marriage conference.
"Focus on the Family gave me that message . . . to refuse to give up," she says. "The speakers were convincing when they said, ‘Don't quit on each other. You will feel in love again. A kind of love you can't understand without going through the tough times together first.' The airport surprise for my husband was my way of saying ‘I'm so glad we didn't give up.' "
Lacy's also glad Derek took the train all the way to the terminal. Otherwise he would have never come up that escalator.
"Thank goodness," she says, "or I would have been standing there forever."

Watch a video of Lacy's story. The video is also available in our iPad digital edition, available here.

Make a Difference

We depend on donor support to provide help and hope to people like Lacy — and folks like you! Your gift today will help ensure that Focus on the Family continues providing couples with the inspiration, encouragement and advice they desperately need. Just visit FocusOnTheFamily.com/TFdonate. Together, we can help families thrive.

Need Help?

Have questions about guiding your kids or improving your marriage? Our licensed counselors are available to listen and pray with you, as well as provide guidance and resources to help your family. Find out more at FocusOnTheFamily.com/CounselingHelp, or call 800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) Monday through Friday from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. (Mountain time).

Focus on the Family's National Institute of Marriage

Focus on the Family has joined forces with the National Institute of Marriage (NIM) to offer real hope to marriages in crisis. NIM provides intensive counseling for hurting couples, leading to changed lives and restored marriages. Learn more at FocusOnTheFamily.com/NIM.

Parenting Adult Children

By Karen O'Connor

Part of the Parenting Adult Children Series

Series About:

Parenting Roles

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, NIV)
One Sunday I broke down in tears at a prayer meeting at church and asked what I could do to restore my adult son to me. He had made some chilling decisions and I was powerless to change him. A dear, older woman hurried across the room, sat down beside me and slipped her arm around my shoulder. "Your parenting in the flesh is over," she said softly. "It's time to parent him in the Spirit. Pray for your son and trust God to do what you cannot do — and He will," she added confidently.
I was set free that day. Gradually I began to see that God, who reconciled His relationship to His children through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, would surely give me and all mothers and fathers who asked for it the grace to reconcile our changing relationship with our adult children. I have found that such grace has helped me and others to incorporate three helpful steps into our parenting process. And they work! Today, 20 years after that life-changing day, my son is a fine, responsible adult, who has become one of my dearest friends.

Recognize and Respect Your Differences

During a discussion about parenting, Chet shared his experience:
"Finally, I'm beginning to see my children in a new way," he said. "Both are married and have kids of their own. I'm amazed at what good, capable people they are. I realize in talking with others that I have not been as encouraging as I could be. I wonder if that's why my daughter seems distant. I feel anxious around her, like neither of us is telling the truth. I want to change that. I need to apologize and tell her how truly proud of her I am. I've been measuring her by my standard instead of seeing her for the beautiful person God created."

Share Your Wisdom and Insight (Without Being Critical)

Regardless of the past, I believe our children, whatever their age, want to know who we really are. I had occasion to discover this for myself about 15 years ago when my youngest daughter was still in high school. At the time, she was living with her father following our divorce. Unexpectedly, she accepted my invitation to live with me during her two years of junior college. During that time, our relationship took an important turn. We were once again together under the same roof. I had experienced a lot of emotional and spiritual healing by then, so I knew that, finally, I had something to give her — my true self.
There were sweet and loving times, and times of tears and long talks as we walked along the ocean hand-in-hand, cooked and baked together — and shopped! It was also a time of deep inner healing for both of us as we drew closer to the Lord and prayed with each other. By the time she left for her last two years of college in Northern California, I felt our relationship had been restored, and that regardless of what surfaced in the future, we'd be able to face it and deal with it. That has proven true.

Relinquish Your Adult Children to the Lord

If we do the vital inner work necessary to spiritual and emotional parenting, then relinquishing our children will be easier than we might expect. We will no longer feel compelled to use them as a means of working through the unfinished business of our past or as the focus of our future desires.
Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. Consider your own situation. Is the Lord telling you that now is the time for you to take steps to restore your relationship with your children? If so, incline your ears to the words of His mouth (Psalm 78:1). Admit your imperfections and commit them to a perfect God — who will guide, guard and govern your sons and daughters in ways you could never carry out on your own. Then put into action the truths the Lord reveals.
Only with God is it possible to find hope for restoration. It is never too late . . . even now that they're grown. Jesus promised in Mark 10:27, "With God all things are possible." We can count on it!

Knowing Our Hearts

Knowing Our Hearts
(En Español)
Our pursuit is not only to know the heart of God, but to know our own hearts in God's light. Indeed, as I draw closer to the heart of God, the very fire of His presence begins a deep purging work within me, and in the vastness of His riches, my poverty appears. The psalmist wrote, "Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? And who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood, and has not sworn deceitfully" (Ps. 24:3-4).
We cannot even find the hill of the Lord, much less ascend it, if there is deceit in our heart. How does one serve in God's holy place if his soul is unclean? It is only the pure in heart who perceive God. To ascend toward God is to walk into a furnace of truth where falsehood is extracted from our souls. To abide in the holy place we must dwell in honesty, even when a lie might seem to save us. Each ascending step upon the hill of God is a thrusting of our souls into greater transparency, a more perfect view into the motives of our hearts.
It is this upward call of God which we pursue. Yet the soul within us is hidden, crouching in fears and darkness, living in a world of untruths and illusions. This is our inner man, the soul God seeks to save. Have you discovered your true self, the inner person whom truth alone can free? Yes, we seek holiness, but true holiness arises from here; it comes as the Spirit of Truth unveils the hidden places in our hearts. Indeed, it is truthfulness that leads to holiness.
God, grant us a zeal for truth that we may stand in Your holy place!
Men everywhere presume they know the "truth," but they have neither holiness nor power in their lives. Truth must become more than historical doctrine; it must be more than a museum of religious artifacts -- mementos from when God once moved. Truth is knowing God's heart as it was revealed in Christ, and it is knowing our own hearts in the light of God's grace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Adapted from Francis Frangipane's book, Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God on sale this week at www.arrowbookstore.com.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God

This is the first book ever written by Pastor Francis. It came after three years of studying and repeatedly reading the Gospels. The truths in this book have stirred men to revivals. Over 500,000 in print. This book is a penetrating study of the human heart and how God prepares it for His glory.

View Francis introducing this book

Book - $8.50 (Retail $12.00)
Ebook - $8.12 (Retail $12.00)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Like a Watered Garden
New book by Francis Frangipane

Like a Watered Garden is the latest addition to the list of edifying books by Pastor Frangipane. This collection has over 300 quotes, insights and revelations -- nuggets of inspiration and truth handpicked from his many teachings. It is our prayer that this journal will quickly become a companion to those who love the Lord and are in pursuit of Christ's likeness.

Preview this book

Book - $10.85 (Retail $12.00)
Ebook - $10.85 (Retail $12.00)

Did Jesus Battle Depression?

By Scott Attebery

Did Jesus battle depression? Seems like a strange question at first, but consider Isaiah’s prophesy of the coming Messiah: “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3).
That certainly sounds like someone dealing with the symptoms of depression. So why do we immediately push back at the thought that Jesus might have dealt with symptoms of depression?
Perhaps it is because we have the false notion that depression is either: 1) a sin, or a 2) sign of weakness. But neither is the case.
In fact, depression is not something a person chooses. Rather it is something a person must choose how to deal with. The real issue is not whether a person experiences depression, but instead, how the person reacts to depression.
For this reason I am of the opinion that Christ did indeed battle depression. And more importantly, He battled it perfectly. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
Christ wasn’t the only person in Scripture who dealt with depression. For instance, David exclaimed, “I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping” (Psalm 6:6).
Even great preachers such as C.H. Spurgeon experienced the woes of depression. He explained, “I find myself frequently depressed—perhaps more so than any other person here. And I find no better cure for that depression than to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and seek to realize afresh the power of the peace-speaking blood of Jesus and His infinite love in dying upon the cross to put away all my transgressions.”
This issue is important to me because I have struggled with depression. And it has been my experience that there are no easy answers. The darkness can attack without warning. It does not ask permission and it does not need a reason. Make no mistake; depression is real.
What does it feel like? I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but for me, there are days that everything is covered with a thick fog. Despondency feels like an unending trance that is inescapable. And if someone were to offer you an all-expense paid vacation, you wouldn’t take it because you don’t even know what would make you happy. Worse, you feel like you don’t even know yourself anymore.
Unfortunately, a stigma still surrounds depression. Some believe it’s imagined. Others believe it’s demonic oppression. Some say it’s strictly spiritual, while others believe it’s strictly physical. Some believe you must take medicine. Others believe it’s a sin to take medicine.
Of course there is more than one category of depression (situational, clinical, etc). But no matter the source or treatment (counseling, medicine, etc.), depression is always an opportunity to draw nearer to Christ. For this reason, we must view the words of a counselor as an extension of Christ’s wisdom—not a replacement for it. And we must see medicine as a gift of God—not an alternative to His power. If I seek a cure without seeking Christ, I am bowing to idols of my own desires.
That’s why I think Hebrews 4, after reminding us that Christ has experienced our same temptations, encourages us in verse 16 to “draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
So here’s the takeaway:

Depression is real. (Jesus experienced it.)
Experiencing depression is not sin. (Jesus didn’t sin.)
Experiencing depression is not necessarily a result of sin. (Jesus is completely righteous.)
There is no “quick fix” for depression—it is a battle (often for life).
The key is our reaction to depression: whether or not we cling to Christ.

If you know of someone dealing with depression, here are a few thoughts:

You have an opportunity to minister the patient, merciful love of Christ to them.
Be patient and listen to them.
Encourage them to see biblical counseling. (A good biblical counselor will encourage them to also consult a physician to determine if there is a need for medicine.)
Continue pointing them to dependency on Christ.
Pray for them—and don’t give up!

Did Jesus battle temptation? Yes, I think so. But even more—I believe He defeated it!

After serving in campus ministry at the University of Central Arkansas and coordinating student conferences for the Department of Church Ministries from 2000-2005, Scott pastored Wyatt Baptist Church in El Dorado Arkansas. In 2008, Scott’s wife, Jill, passed away in an automobile accident. He recalls, “God used our Church to be Christ to my family and me during that time.” After seven years of pastoring, Scott was selected as the Executive Director of DiscipleGuide Church Reources, a department of the Baptist Missionary Association of America. Scott’s most important ministry is to his son, Bryce. More from Scott Attebery or visit Scott at http://www.ScottAttebery.com

7 Steps to Achieve Your Dreams

By Ron Edmondson

I love and encourage dreaming.

I think dreaming is healthy for our emotional well-being. It’s a process that helps us accomplish great things personally and for God.
We are told we serve a big, creative God, whose thoughts will always be bigger and better than ours. We are to walk by faith. We are to trust God into the unknown. Dreaming should be natural to believers. Dreaming stretches the vision of churches and organizations, it fuels creativity and many great opportunities develop first as a dream.
The reality is, however, that more people have dreams than attain them.
Perhaps you have dreams you have yet to accomplish. I certainly do. One reason dreams never come true is that we don’t have a system in place to work toward them. I love to be an encourager for people with great dreams, so with that in mind, here are some steps to help you move toward reaching your dreams:
Identify your dream—This is where you list specifically what the dream would look like. Obviously it needs to be attainable. If your dream is to create a new moon, you may be disappointed, but don’t be afraid for it to be a stretch either. For example, suppose your dream is to be to be an author. That’s a dream you can accomplish, but it may not be realistic to write the next Purpose Driven Life.
Make an action plan—Write down specific action steps you can take toward attaining your goal. (The writing down part is important.) Sticking with the idea of being an author, perhaps you could start with a blog, for which you write post regularly to build the discipline of writing. Then move to outlining chapters. Then you might set aside a few hours a week to actually write the book. Record realistic dates to begin/complete each step.
Develop accountability—Most of us work harder when we know someone is going to challenge us to do so. Consider the success of programs like Weight Watchers. Accountability works, so share your plan of action with a few people who will continue to challenge you to completion.
Share the load—Even though it is your dream, the best ideas are accomplished when people work together toward a common vision. Don’t be afraid to invite others to help you accomplish your dream as needed.
Take a risk—If you really want to succeed, you must be willing to risk failure. Every great dream has an element of risk involved, and the ones who achieve their dreams are the ones wiling to assume the risk.
Stay consistent—If you want to achieve your dreams, you will have to keep at the task, even during the set backs. Push yourself to complete scheduled action steps even on days you may not want to do anything. These is how habits are developed. Many give up too soon, often just before the tipping point toward success occurs. Unless you know it’s time to try another dream, stay consistent with the one in front of you.
Get started—The longer you wait, the more you delay achievement and the less likely you are to begin. If you know the dream is worth achieving, if you are confidant it’s a God-honoring, morally right and worthy dream, then start today!
What is one dream you have yet to attain? Why not take one meaningful step to get started today?

Lovingly Restoring the Fallen

By Bob Russell

Provided by

Rumors were flying about a friend of mine. Even though married with children, my friend seemed to be spending an inordinate amount of time with a college-age girl. She had some personal issues and he evidently wanted to help her.
However, she was also fairly attractive. The time he spent talking to her after church created suspicion. People weren’t necessarily “gossiping” about him but they were “concerned.” Some had seen him at her softball games and commented, “It just didn’t look right.”
Finally, I had heard enough. Galatians 6:1 reads: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”
Going to a brother
While I wasn’t sure I qualified as “spiritual,” I was his pastor, as well as his friend. Since no one else had approached him, I decided to do so. Since Matthew 18:15 instructs us to go by ourselves on the first visit to someone who may have a problem, I arranged to talk with him for a few minutes after an evening service.
As we began to talk, my mouth felt dry. I fought to keep my voice from trembling. I knew there was the possibility that he could get angry and storm out. Or remind me of my own failures. Still, I cleared my throat and said, “I think you need to know that there is some discussion circulating about the fact that you seem to be hanging around (her name) a lot. I’m concerned that it’s hurting your Christian testimony, and I thought as your friend you needed to be aware of it.”
His response was much better than I expected: “Oh my! I never thought that it could be seen that way. I am just concerned about the struggles she’s facing at home and felt she needed some encouragement. Goodness! I’ll sure back off. I’m sorry.”
Bearing another’s burden
From that point on, his relationship with that young woman cooled and the talk (gossip) subsided. That was 30 years ago. I’m happy to report that my friend and his wife are still happily married and enjoying their grandchildren. That college-age girl now has a godly family and a positive witness as well.
Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had said nothing? At the very least, he would have continued to damage his witness. Perhaps an unhealthy relationship was on the verge of developing and may have ended in a disastrous affair, a broken marriage and a devastated family. Of course, I don’t know that, but I wonder: What if?
I wonder how many times we could help to bear one another’s burdens of a temptation or poor judgment and we don’t do it. We may be afraid or erroneously conclude that it’s none of our business. As a result, good people stumble and fall, all while we cluck our tongues in disapproval.
The act of restoring
Christians shouldn’t be spying on one another or nitpicking every minor mistake. However, we should be perceptive enough and caring enough to confront someone if we see them possibly “caught in some sin.”
Two key phrases should guide any such confrontation: “restore gently” and “watch yourself.” There is no room for abrasive accusations or self-righteous attitudes when attempting to restore another person.
Not all confrontations end positively, as mine did. Yet numerous spiritual flame-outs could be averted if God’s people held each other accountable—and spoke the truth in love. Church leaders, it is worth reminding your congregation of this truth.

At just twenty-two years of age, Bob became the pastor of Southeast Christian Church. That small congregation of 120 members became one of the largest churches in America, with 18,000 people attending the four worship services every weekend in 2006 when Bob retired. Now through Bob Russell Ministries, Bob continues to preach at churches & conferences throughout the United States, provide guidance for church leadership, mentor other ministers and author Bible study videos for use in small groups. More from Bob Russell or visit Bob at http://www.bobrussell.org/

10 Keys to Raising Great Kids Who Love Jesus

By Dale Hudson

You think you know everything about parenting until you have kids and then you realize you don’t know nearly as much as you thought you did.
Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding…but challenging roles. And if you’re in children’s ministry, you’re not only pouring into your own kids, but into other people’s kids as well.
And even more importantly, you should be pouring into the parents of the kids in your ministry. Parents hold the most critical components of kids growing up to love Jesus.
Sounds like a lot of responsibility on our part, doesn’t it? How do we help kids grow up to love Jesus? How can we equip parents to lead their kids spiritually?
My two sons are both adults now. In spite of all the mistakes I’ve made along the way, they love Jesus and His church. I don’t have all the answers…but who does? I have, however, seen some commonalities in parents whose kids grow up to love Jesus.
Let me preface this list by saying it does not override a child’s free will. Each person must decide for themselves whether or not they will follow Jesus. God doesn’t have any grandchildren. I know what you’re thinking, “But what about Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it.” You can read more about my thoughts on this verse in this post.
All that being said, we can equip parents to create homes that are fertile soil for kids to grow in their faith. Here’s 10 keys to raising great kids who love Jesus.
Walk the Talk
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Your kids can’t hear what you are saying, because what you are doing is speaking so loudly.” Isn’t that true? Parents who raise kids that love Jesus don’t live a double life. This doesn’t mean they are perfect, but it does mean they follow Jesus every day of the week. They practice what they preach. They lead by example.
Affirm the Gift
They see the gifts that God has placed in their child and they affirm those gifts. The words “I believe in you” echo in their child’s ears. The move beyond calling their child “out” to calling their child “up” to be all that God intended them to be. Kids who don’t receive affirmation often go looking for it in all the wrong places.
Read the Word
Kids who grow up to love Jesus have parents whose Bibles are worn out…and it’s not from sitting in the hot sun on the car dashboard all week…waiting to be grabbed next Sunday upon arriving at church. It’s from being read each day…in front of the kids and with the kids.
Eat the Meal
Research shows that children who have dinner with their parents are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant, become depressed or develop eating disorders. They also do better socially and academically…and I believe spiritually. Why? Because a family meal is much more than eating. It’s a time to pray, communicate, connect, mentor and disciple.
Serve the People
When a child sees his or her parents serving others, it makes a huge impact spiritually in the child’s life. Serving is a key component of discipleship and kids who grow up to love Jesus have families that serve. Kids’ faith becomes animated as they watch their parents serve and begin serving themselves. One of the best things parents can do for their kids spiritually is to get them serving others.
Love the Spouse
The best parenting tool is a happy marriage. Solid marriages create solid kids. Parents who love each other have kids who love Jesus.
Pray the Prayers
Prayer is a vital part of kids growing up to love Jesus. Kids who grow up to love Jesus have parents who pray with them. Kids who grow up to love Jesus have parents who pray for them. Here’s an example of a prayer calendar we created for parents.
Set the Boundaries
Children who stray the most are kids whose parents didn’t set reasonable rules and boundaries. Parents who are consistent in enforcing set rules and boundaries actually end up becoming very close to their children. Of course, this doesn’t mean over-doing rules or having rules without relationship.
Monitor the Friends
Peers are a huge part of whether or not kids grow up to love Jesus. You become like the people you spend the most time with. Parents whose kids grow up to love Jesus know who their kids are friends with and make sure they have good influences around them.
Cultivate the Gratitude
A sense of entitlement is the opposite of the heart of Jesus. Parents whose kids grow up to follow Him help their kids cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Thanksgiving is not just a day of the year to eat turkey and watch football in their home…it’s a way of life.
The floor is yours. What are some other keys to raising great kids who love Jesus? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Dale Hudson has served in children and family ministry for over 24 years. He is the Director of Children’s Ministries at Christ Fellowship Church in Palm Beach, Florida. He was recently named one of the Top 20 Influencers in Children’s Ministry. He is the co-author of four ministry books, including Turbocharged: 100 Simple Secrets to Successful Children’s Ministry. More from Dale Hudson or visit Dale at http://www.relevantchildrensministry.com

A Pastor’s Posture

April 27, 2015

A pastor and friend walking and talking in a hallway

By Ted Cunningham

Sunday mornings are filled with handshakes, hugs, head nods, taps on the shoulder, and many quick conversations. I catch myself rushing through some conversations and lingering in others. Recently a pastor challenged me with how others feel in my presence. He taught that there are two ways to enter a room. The first way is rooted in self and says, “Here I am.” The second is concerned about the well-being of others and says, “There you are.” When you walk into a room or conversation, do you look for ways to bless the one standing right in front of you? Even if it’s a quick encounter, the quality of that time includes both verbal and nonverbal communication.
Relationship experts teach that 7% of our communication is verbal (words) and 93% is nonverbal. Your approach, more than your words, communicates to people how much you value them. Before you speak your first word, the other person knows where they stand with you. Consider the following ways to honor someone this Sunday without using words.
Eye contact says, “I am interested and focused on what you are saying.” Looking at your watch or mobile device shows them that you would rather check the time or social media. Looking over the other person’s shoulder says, “I wonder if there is someone more interesting to talk to” or “That conversation over there looks like more fun than this one.”
The Blue Man Group is a popular stage show where three guys, with just their eyes, communicate sadness, curiosity, surprise, joy, relief, confusion, and anticipation. Proverbs 15:30 says, “Bright eyes gladden the heart.” “Bright eyes” express excitement to the one you are greeting. People know when our eyes say, “There you are, I’m so glad to see you,” and they also know when they say, “Oh boy, they’re going to take up way too much of my time.”
Facial expressions honor others too. A wink says, “I get what you’re saying.” Raising your eyebrows shows excitement, shock, and intrigue. Gritted teeth have a way of portraying fright. A simple smile lets others know you enjoy their presence, story, or joke. A furrowed brow and straight lips show empathy. Pastors spend a lot of time listening. When you can’t get a word in edgewise, track with the conversation by thoughtfully using facial expressions. Flat faces are the enemy of enthusiasm.
One’s posture also communicates an open or closed spirit. Folded arms say, “I’m not receiving your critique.” Arms at the side are non-threatening and open to the feedback of another. Sitting on the edge of your seat and leaning forward shows interest and enthusiasm, but too much of it can come across as aggressive. A hand in your pocket shows that you are relaxed and trust the other person.
Your proximity to the other person is a nonverbal often overlooked in pastoral care. Standing too close to someone is called “getting in their space.” You can also dishonor someone by moving away from them while they are in the middle of a story. Distancing yourself says, “We need to wrap up this conversation.”
Finally, physical touch is a nonverbal showing forgiveness, companionship, and even romance. Parents hold hands with their children to protect and lead their children across a busy street. A husband shows chivalry by placing his hand on the small of his wife’s back as she walks through the door he opened for her. A gentle hand on the shoulder can say, “Will you forgive me? I’m sorry.” Appropriate physical touch shows love. I give a lot of side-hugs on Sunday.
To be honest with you, the sixty-second counseling sessions and prayers on Sundays are the hardest for me. When they feel rushed, they come across as insincere. This isn’t my heart at all. The conversation turnovers are tough, too. One moment, I’m praying with someone battling cancer and the next moment someone asks if I caught the latest episode of Shark Tank. Whatever the situation, I want each person I come in contact with to know I esteem them as highly valuable no matter the duration of our interaction.
What do members of your congregation feel when they walk away from you on Sundays? What are some nonverbal ways you can show genuine care for first-time guests to your church? When you walk in the room, do you honor people with an enthusiastic approach? Blessings to you as you honor others in their presence.
Copyright © 2015 by Ted Cunningham. Used by permission.

Ted Cunningham is the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church. He married Amy in 1996, and they live in Branson, MO with their two children, Corynn and Carson. Ted is the author of Fun Loving You, Trophy Child, and Young and In Love, and coauthor of four books with Dr. Gary Smalley. He is a graduate of Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary..

Free eBook: “A Parent’s Guide to Cyberbullying” from CovenantEyes

Free eBook

Equip the families in your church community to understand and engage this important issue in our online world.
From CovenantEyes: “15 percent of teens have faced online harassment in the last year. Cyberbullying, or “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices,” is a serious problem that can have serious repercussions, resulting in depression, a drop in grades, self-harming behaviors and, in some cases, suicide. Whether you’re concerned your child is being bullied online, or whether you simply want to equip yourself for the future, this free guide, A Parent’s Guide to Cyberbullying, will help you understand what cyberbullying is and what you can do about it.”

Get Download Now

Resource provided by CovenantEyes

Marriage in the Dock: A Call to Prayer

By Russell Moore

The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission is asking you to join us in praying for the preservation and strengthening of marriage as oral arguments involving several cases on same-sex marriage are heard before the Supreme Court on April 28.
It’s important that we stress just how significant these cases are. Before the Court is an up or down vote to redefine marriage. Like Roe v. Wade was to abortion, what the Supreme Court decides regarding whether to redefine marriage will be on the same historic level.
In 1 Timothy 2:1, the Apostle Paul instructed Timothy to pray for leaders in authority. According to Paul,
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior.
The command to pray for leaders is an appeal to pray for leaders, who in Paul’s time were avowed enemies of Christ and his church. Still, despite their hostility to the burgeoning Christian movement, Paul says that government is a gift from God meant for our good, and that Christians should pray for government officials’ betterment and their wisdom; that they’d execute justice accurately and indiscriminately. So we must.
As Christians prepare for the April oral arguments and a late June decision, we should remember the essential truths of marriage: It is an institution embedded into the created order that unites men and women into husbands and wives that they might become fathers and mothers. At the same time, marriage is a shadow or icon that depicts the truest reality of the cosmos: Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection that secures for him, his own bride—the church.
The outcome of this decision will shape the landscape of the church’s ministry in the United States for generations to come; and it will have significant consequences on the future of religious liberty.
We are inviting you to join other organizations and churches that will set aside time on the morning of April 28 at 10 a.m. EDT to appeal to God to preserve marriage in our land. You can help us spread the word by changing the avatar on your social media accounts and posting with the hashtag #PrayForMarriage.
Here’s a sample prayer guide:

God designed marriage as a way to prosper creation and to reflect his gospel (Gen. 2; Rom. 13; Eph. 5). Pray that all people, including governing authorities, would honor the institution of marriage.
God can turn the hearts and minds of the justices to do his will (Prov. 21:1). Pray for the Supreme Court justices, that they would be receptive to the arguments being made passionately before them.
God can guide the mind and speech (Exod. 4:11-12). Pray for lead attorneys who will be arguing on behalf of the states seeking to uphold marriage. Ask God to give them clarity and wisdom, for their arguments to be persuasive, and for God to give them favor before the justices.
God can give understanding to make sound decisions (Prov. 2:6-8). Pray for those who disagree with us, that God would help them understand and respect the opinions of those whose definition of marriage is grounded in the biblical witness.
God is sovereign (Gen. 50:20). We ought to pray and hope for the best but plan for what Justice Scalia predicted in 2013: “As far as this Court is concerned, no one should be fooled; it is just a matter of listening and waiting for the other shoe.” Even in the event of a bad decision, marriage will always be what marriage truly is.

As faithful Christians, whatever comes when the final decision is handed down in June, we’ll insist, like we’ve said countless times before in every generation, that no Court or Constitution can define what doesn’t belong to it.
Whatever the Court rules, the church must be prepared, as it did in its infancy, to work among the cultural ruins to reaffirm our commitment to the value and immutability of marriage.

Resources to further understand the theological and social significance of marriage:

Russell Moore’s booklet Same-Sex Marriage and the Future
Russell Moore’s blog post “Same-Sex Marriage and the Future”
Russell Moore’s “How Should Same-Sex Marriage Change the Church’s Witness?”
Andrew Walker’s “An Evangelical Defense of Traditional Marriage”
Andrew Walker’s “Supreme Court to Hear Same-Sex Marriage Cases: How Should Christians Respond?”
Andrew Walker “Should the Church Get Out of the Marriage Business?”

Dr. Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He also serves as a preaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church, where he ministers weekly at the congregation’s Fegenbush location. Moore is the author of several books, including "The Kingdom of Christ," "Adopted for Life," and "Tempted and Tried." More from Russell Moore or visit Russell at http://russellmoore.com

7 Things You May Not Know but You Need to Know About Your Wife

By Ron Edmondson

Guys, can I be honest with you? Marriage can be hard.

Did you know that already?
Sometimes you do the wrong thing before you even knew you did the wrong thing. You try to figure out the one you love the most, but the more you try the more confused you get. I get it. I understand.
Men and women are different. (You can tweet that.)
We don’t always think and respond to life the same way.
And likely there are some things about your wife you just didn’t know.
Over the years, through counseling training and actual counseling—and learning from my wife—I’ve observed some things. And I’ve realized some men simply don’t know them—or don’t realize how important they are to their wife.

Here are seven things you may not know but you need to know about your wife:

You step on her feelings more than you know.
You just do. And you don’t even mean to—or know that you are most of the time. She may think you do, but you don’t. You’re just not as aware of how she’s wired emotionally. And most of the time she overlooks it. She knows it wasn’t intentional. But it hurts. And the more you do it the more it hurts. So be careful with your words.
And that leads to the next one.
Your words are heavier than you think they are.
You need to know that. When she asks you how she looks, for example—yes it is a quandary on how to respond and there are plenty of jokes around about that dilemma—but your response matters. Probably more than any other response of her day. It’s a small question to you but big question for her. And you communicate things to her continually through how you say what you say and the body language you combine with your words. And they weigh a ton to her. A ton.
She wants you to take the lead.
At least occasionally. I know all the women’s rights issues cloud this for you. It can be confusing, but there’s likely something in your wife just waiting for you to make a decision. She values your input and she wants you to lead in the home as well as she sees that you can lead elsewhere. And, speaking on behalf of men, I know you don’t always want to be the leader. She’s better at making many of the decisions than you are. Still, she’s waiting—hoping that you’ll step up where you need to lead.
She doesn’t want to be like her mother.
Or to be compared to her mother. And these type of jokes aren’t funny. Ever. Trust me. And, in fact, she doesn’t want to be like any other woman either. She wants to be seen for the unique wonder she is—which, by the way, was God-designed.
She is likely with you even when she’s not.
At least in her mind. Our wives are very relational. So if she asks about your calendar—now you know. She’s not trying to be difficult or suspicious. She’s trying to be with the one she loves.
It’s OK just to hold her hand.
And, also, to occasionally be romantic. You may have established a long time ago that you’re not the romantic type. She may realize she married funny—or serious—or dedicated—more than romantic. But every woman needs a little romance occasionally. It makes her feel special—especially when it comes from you.
The way her world looks is often how her heart feels.
All her world. The house, for example, you think it doesn’t matter, but to her it reflects her—not you. She’s also conscious of what others think of her appearance. She carries this burden heavier than she wants to sometimes. Don’t diminish this to her. Understand it.
In a future post, I’ll share the companion post for wives to understand.

7 Ways Extroverts Can Better Engage Introverts

By Ron Edmondson

I write a lot about introversion, because I’m an introvert.

Introversion is a personality preference, based on the way a person has been shaped by experiences and life.
In very broad terms, it means we are fueled more by our inner thoughts and reflections than a by social engagements and interactions with others. Alone time fuels us. Our idea of “fun” might be reading a book in a room — or field — all by ourselves. (Hence the picture with this post.)
It’s not that we don’t like people. You can read some of my other posts about that. It’s that if we had a preference of how to use our free time, many times we would spend it in quieter or more controllable environments.
Chances are you have lots of introverts on your team, in your church, your workplace, as your customers — even in your family. You’ll even find some people who appear very extroverted to be introverts. (Like many pastors I know — it seems especially in larger churches.)
I will often get requests to write about extroversion — specifically how extroverts can better understand introverts. (Extroverted people are seldom shy about asking for what they want!)
This is generalized. No two introverts are the same just like no two extroverts are the same. Just like no two people — period — are the same. We are all uniquely made by our Creator! And, that’s intentional on His part!
But, this is an attempt to help you understand some of the introverts in your world. And, if you want clarification if it applies to them — simply ask. We can express ourselves — often quite eloquently.

Here are 7 ways that extroverts can better engage introverts:

Give us advance warning – Don’t put us on the spot for an answer or opinion. We have one, but often need time to formulate our thoughts. If you want our best answer, then you’re best not to demand it immediately from an introvert.
Don’t assume we don’t have an opinion – We do — and it may even be the best one — but we are less likely to share it surrounded by people who are always quick to have something to say and tend to control the conversation.
Don’t assume we are unfriendly or anti-social - We may not be talking, but that doesn’t mean we do not love people or that we don’t want to communicate with them. The opposite is probably more true. We just prefer to do it in less extroverted ways. Plus, we talk one at a time, so if there’s someone always talking, we may not get a chance — or take the opportunity.
Give us time to form the relationship – Introverts don’t usually form relationships quickly. We may appear harder to get to know, but when we do connect, we are loyal friends with deep, intimate connections. And we can actually be quite fun — even silly at times — once you get to know us.
Allow us time alone - All of us need personal time, but we require even more time alone than an extrovert usually does. We energize during these times — not just relax — and there’s a huge difference.
Don’t expect us to always love or get excited about extroverted activities – The social activities where you get to meet all the cool people you do not know — yea — that’s not always our idea of fun. It may even be a little scary. It might make us nervous at the thought of it. We’ll find excuses not to go, even if we know we need the experience or will have fun once we do them.(Cheryl helps me so much with this one. She stays by my side until I acclimate to the room. And, that’s usually what it takes for the introvert to really enjoy these type settings.)
Allow us to use written communication when available - We often prefer email or text over phone calls. We are usually more engaging when we can write out our thoughts ahead of time.
Are you an introvert? What would you add to my list?

The Most Important Thing My Parents Did

By Tim Challies

I grew up in a church culture, a catechizing culture, and a family worship culture. Each of these was a tremendous, immeasurable blessing, I am sure. I am convinced that twice-each-Sunday services, and memorizing the catechisms, and worshiping as a family marked me deeply. I doubt I will ever forget that my only comfort in life and death is that I am not my own, but belong in body and soul, both in life and death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ, or that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. I can still sing many of the psalms and hymns of my youth, and I have precious memories of my family bowing our heads around the kitchen table.
What was true of my family was true of many of my friends’ families. They, too, grew up around churches and catechisms and rigid family devotions. In fact, in all the times I visited their homes, I don’t think I ever witnessed a family skip over their devotions. It was the custom, it was the expectation, and it was good. Our church had near 100% attendance on Sunday morning and near 100% attendance on Sunday evening. It was just what we did.
But despite all of the advantages, many of the people I befriended as a child have since left the faith. Some have sprinted away, but many more have simply meandered away, so that an occasionally missed Sunday eventually became a missed month and a missed year. Not all of them, of course. Many are now fine believers, who are serving in their churches and even leading them. But a lot—too many—are gone.
Why? I ask the question from time-to-time. Why are all five of my parents’ kids following the Lord, while so many of our friends and their families are not? Obviously I have no ability to peer into God’s sovereignty and come to any firm conclusions. But as I think back, I can think of one great difference between my home and my friends’ homes—at least the homes of my friends who have since walked away from the Lord and his church. Though it is not universally true, it is generally true. Here’s the difference: I saw my parents living out their faith even when I wasn’t supposed to be watching.

I had the rock-solid assurance that my parents believed and practiced what they preached.

When I tiptoed down the stairs in the morning, I would find my dad in the family room with his Bible open on his lap. Every time I picked up my mom’s old NIV Study Bible it was a little more wrecked than the time before, I would find a little more ink on the pages, and a few more pieces of tape trying desperately to hold together the worn binding. When life was tough, I heard my parents reason from the Bible and I saw them pray together. They weren’t doing these things for us. They weren’t doing them to be seen. They were doing these things because they loved the Lord and loved to spend time with him, and that spoke volumes to me. I had the rock-solid assurance that my parents believed and practiced what they preached. I knew they actually considered God’s Word trustworthy, because they began every day with it. I knew that they believed God was really there and really listening, because they got alone with him each morning to pray for themselves and for their kids. I saw that their faith was not only formal and public, but also intimate and private.
Here is one thing I learned from my parents: Nothing can take the place of simply living as a Christian in view of my children. No amount of formal theological training, church attendance, or family devotions will make up for a general apathy about the things of the Lord. I can catechize my children all day and every day, but if I have no joy and no delight in the Lord, and if I am not living out my faith, my children will see it and know it.
For all the good things my parents did for me, I believe that the most important was simply living as Christians before me. I don’t think anything shaped or challenged me more than that.

Tim Challies, a self-employed web designer, is a pioneer in the Christian blogosphere, having one of the most widely read and recognized Christian blogs. He is also editor of Discerning Reader, a site dedicated to offering thoughtful reviews of books that are of interest to Christians. More from Tim Challies or visit Tim at http://www.challies.com/

Kamis, 23 April 2015

In Preparation for God

In Preparation for God
(En Español)
The last, great move of the Holy Spirit will be distinguished by men and women who have been prepared by God for God.
We have given ourselves in prayer for revival; we have studied and discovered the Lord's heart for the lost. Without compromising the gospel's basic truths, grace has taught us to make Christ's message relative to our times and needs. For all our preparation, though, we have yet to prepare our hearts for God Himself.
We long to be sent by the Almighty for the sake of some great task – a miracle that turns a city to repentance or some significant act of service. However, the greatest task awaiting the church is not to be sent by God but to actually come to Him.
Indeed, we have assumed a strange role: We think we are the Lord's bodyguards. Armed with the doctrines of our faith, we are set to defend Christ against blasphemy, heresy, or misinformation. Yet in seeking to face and confront the heretics of our age, we have positioned ourselves with our backs toward the Almighty. If we would but turn and glance toward Him, we would see He does not need us to protect Him from man, nor has man ever been a threat to the Most High. Indeed, if we would cease striving, even for a moment, we would find His gaze has never left us. He awaits our undivided love.
As much as our desires for revival and spiritual awakening have come to us from God, these passions are but the beginning of a renewed mind, not the end. At the end of the age, the season of preparation is not for the sake of the harvest, as important as the harvest is; our preparation is for the Lord. The turning of our hearts toward Him must transcend momentary times of need and even our scheduled hour of prayer. It is time to enter the place of undistracted devotion. For it is the constant gaze of the church that draws God's highest pleasure and releases the greatest harvest.
A Simplified Focus
"For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ" (2 Cor. 11:2-3).
Over the years we have developed a host of programs, outreaches and ministries all designed to bring people into church and make them better Christians. A number of these efforts the Lord has blessed; some He has accommodated and used; while still others, in truth, He has simply ignored.
However, the closer we draw to the end of the age, the less the church will be able to depend upon anything other than Christ Himself. Even now the anointing upon our myriad activities and programs is quietly diminishing. In spite of the multiplicity of our ideas, before Jesus returns the church will know simply and unequivocally: there is no substitute for God.
As the day of the Lord approaches, the Holy Spirit will increasingly refine our focus and lift our attention to our greatest purpose: the revelation of Christ within us. It is the fruit of Christ revealed through the church that the great, end-time harvest is timed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Adapted from Francis Frangipane's book, The Days of His Presence on sale this week at www.arrowbookstore.com.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Save up to 45% on these selected products
Limited time offer

Pastor Francis has said, "Let us not be so absorbed with the dark movement of end-time shadows that we miss the One whose day is simultaneously dawning upon us. Many have written about the shadows; my goal is to prepare us for the baptism of light."

The Days of His Presence

The Days of His Presence heralds not only the return of the Lord at the Rapture, but also the return of His glory to the church at the end of the age. Supported by Scripture and Francis' prophetic vision, this book will help fill in the gaps in your understanding of the last days; it will help prepare you to receive the fullness of Christ as mankind enters the fullness of time.

Book - $8.45 (Retail $13.00)
Ebook - $7.15 (Retail $13.00)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the Days Ahead: A Prophetic Overview
Two-Message Series

In this series, Pastor Frangipane shares two visions the Lord gave him nearly forty years ago. And while he touches on such things as the shaking of the nations, the antichrist, earthquakes and other end-time events, his focus is primarily upon the greatest reality awaiting us in the last days: the "sign of the Son of Man" (Matt. 24:30).

This series, In the Days Ahead, has two messages. The first, "The Glory of Christ," focuses on the intensifying presence of the Lord in the last days.
The second message is "The Currency of Heaven." How can we lay up treasures in Heaven and then draw from that heavenly account for our earthly needs? Currency is purchasing power. So what exactly is the purchasing power of Heaven and how can we possess eternal wealth?

Message titles:
The Glory of Christ
The Currency of Heaven

CD Audio Series - $9.00 (Retail $12.00)
DVD Video Series - $18.00 (Retail $24.00)

MP3 Audio Series Download - $4.50    (Retail $6.00)
MP4 Video Download Series - $9.00   (Retail $12.00)

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Additional Discounts for Packages

The Days of His Presence
plus
In the Days Ahead

CD series and book - $15.00 (Retail price $25.00)
DVD series and book- $22.20 (Retail price $37.00)

Visit Arrow Bookstore to order