Rabu, 21 Desember 2016

It Is Not Well With My Soul

It Is Not Well With My Soul

Man looking outsideby Lance Witt
“What’s missing in the church today?” That question was posed to a well-known megachurch pastor. His one-word answer was “vision.” I couldn’t disagree more!
We are intoxicated with vision and obsessed with leadership. There’s more big talk, more big ideas, more big dreams than ever before. “Bigger and more” has been the rallying cry of the church in the last generation.
Over the last twenty-five years, vision and leadership and growth have become the topics of choice for pastors. In some ministry circles, CEOs and business entrepreneurs are quoted as frequently as the writers of Scripture. Enormous energy and resources have been thrown at helping us become more effective leaders … and for good reason.
A generation ago, pastors were equipped to exegete scripture, understand church history, and craft sermons, but were ill-equipped to provide organizational leadership to the churches they were called to pastor. As churches grew and the culture changed, pastors had to learn about the world of creating budgets, managing staff, casting vision, constructing buildings, raising money, worship programming, and managing change.
So the inundation of leadership and church growth resources met a definite need. The focus on leadership and vision filled a massive void, and we have all been the beneficiaries.
But not all of the impact has been positive. We have pushed the priority of a pastor’s interior life to the fringes. As we have sought to fill the gap with leadership resources we have inadvertently marginalized the soul-side of leadership. The result is a crisis, a crisis of spiritual health among pastors. The statistics these days on pastors are troubling and paint a bleak picture.
Pastors are leaving the ministry in record numbers. Discouragement and disillusionment are epidemic among those who lead in ministry. And many are choosing to fire themselves rather than fight any longer.
New York Times article presented a dismal report card on the state of pastors:
“Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension, and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.”
It doesn’t sound like we are doing a very good job of modeling how to live well. We may sing “it is well with our soul”, but there isn’t much evidence to confirm it.
Burnout, scandal, depression, immorality, loneliness – they are all words commonly associated with people in ministry.
Many of my pastor friends and your pastor friends stand up Sunday after Sunday and faithfully preach the truth. They unselfishly minister to others and do the very best they can to lead their church. They feel incredible pressure to inspire their congregation, grow their churches, and impact their communities.
I have pastor friends who are constantly looking for the “secret sauce” of church growth. They are better-than-average leaders and communicators, but their churches haven’t experienced much growth. They struggle with feelings of inadequacy and live with this nagging doubt that they are failures as leaders.
They are secretly dying a slow death and many want to give up.
After decades in ministry I do understand how people get to this point.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a better way forward.
We don’t need to abandon our discussion of leadership in the kingdom, but we do need to include a question that doesn’t get enough airtime. What does “spiritual” leadership look like? What does healthy leadership look like? What does a healthy team look like?
We have neglected the fact that a pastor’s greatest leadership tool is a healthy soul. Our concentration on skill and technique and strategy has not served us well. The outcome is an increasing number of men and women leading our churches who are emotionally empty and spiritually dry.
Parker Palmer said, “A leader is a person who must take special responsibility for what’s going on inside of himself or herself … lest the act of leadership create more harm than good.”
Let those words soak in. They are especially profound when you realize they were written a generation ago. We have ample evidence of Palmer’s insight. When leaders neglect their interior life they run the risk of prostituting the sacred gift of leadership. And they run the risk of being destructive instead of productive.
As pastors we regularly preach that the Christian life is “inside out”. It starts with the heart. The root determines the fruit. Life flows from the vine (internal) to the branches (external). The same is true for our ministries. True, lasting, Christ-honoring fruit starts by paying attention to our interior life. What ballast is to a boat, a healthy soul is to a leader.

The One Group You Might Forget This Christmas

The One Group You Might Forget This Christmas

by John McGee
The holiday season is upon us. As a pastor you have planned Christmas Eve services, prepared end-of-year reports, and been to more Christmas parties than you care to remember. With all of the activity involved in getting your church ready for Christmas, it can be easy to forget one group – your family.
During this season you tend to get busier just as the other members of your family are winding down at work and school. While you see endless tasks to accomplish, they see a window of opportunity to slow down, make memories, and enjoy each other. This season is an opportunity to serve your church, but don’t lose sight of the unique chance to serve and connect with your family.
Here are some things you can do to serve your family and connect with them this Christmas season.
Help get your home ready for Christmas. You have spent time and energy to get your church ready for Christmas, but have you helped get your own home ready? Make sure you have served your spouse by helping him or her set up the decorations and doing anything else you can to make your home special for the holidays.
Check local guides. Most cities will have an online collection point, usually through the local newspaper, for all types of activities you can do with your family that you might not otherwise know about.
Look at lights. Grab some hot chocolate, queue the Christmas music, and take in the sights and sounds of Christmas. We have made an annual pilgrimage to the same spot for the past ten years. At this point it’s only a little bit about the lights and a lot about the memories we have made.
Get creative. With a little planning and thought you can come up with some really fun activities. One of our family favorites is to go to the mall and split into guys and girls. Each group buys a gift, hides it in the mall, and texts the other group with clues. A few years ago the girls found a key pinned to the back of an ornament on the huge tree in the center of the mall. The key led them to a locker by the ice skating rink where they found necklaces inside.
Date your spouse. Your spouse has served you and accomplished a lot this year. This is a great time to look back over the year, celebrate your relationship, recognize the ways God has used you together, and say “thanks” for everything your spouse has done to help you.
Date your kids. Every kid has a different idea of what a fun date would be, but all of them long to connect with their parents and have their undivided attention. Think about how to connect with each one of them uniquely and get it on the calendar before it fills up.
Game or movie nights. Turn off all of the cell phones and put them in a drawer. Make an intentional effort to be present as you play games or snuggle up and simply be together as you watch movies. Have everyone write down the name of a movie they want to watch and then when you have a couple of hours pull out one and watch it together.
Help or serve someone else. Lead your family in praying for a way to serve and bless others. Opportunities abound with local city missions, but some of the best may be with people your family already knows.
Bring Advent home. As you lead your congregation through this season of anticipation of Christ’s coming, don’t forget to lead your family. There are several family guides that can be read after dinner at the table and will help focus everyone’s thoughts on why this season matters.
Shop early for gifts. Having worked retail during the holidays, I have seen that the closer to Christmas gifts are purchased the more expensive and less thoughtful they become. If it’s already too late this year, see if you can get a jump on next year. One easy way is by capturing ideas as you have them throughout the year and keeping a list for each member of the family.
Crowd source your ideas. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be a superhuman creative and relational genius. Ask others what they are doing this Christmas season to have fun, make memories, and connect with God and each other.
Leverage the last week of the year. Many pastors are very busy leading up to Christmas and may not be able to spend multiple nights a week drinking cider and making cookies with the kids. However things tend to slow down December 26th. Maybe some of your best activities and creative planning could go into the week after Christmas.
God’s church deserves a pastor’s creative leadership during the Christmas season. Your family desires and deserves the same.

Spend Less, Give More

Spend Less, Give More

family-christmas-dinnerby Ted Cunningham
Every December, we encourage our church to spend less and give more. The idea is simple. Instead of overspending and overindulging, cut back a little and focus on acts of extreme generosity.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of enjoying a lunch with Chris Hodges, the senior pastor of Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama. I had no idea that lunch would change everything about the way our church served the community.
Pastor Chris encouraged our leadership to budget less, rather than more. He said, “The Church of the Highlands budgets at 90% of the previous year’s giving.” Budget less, rather than more. So simple, yet it was a game changer for Woodland Hills.
I shared this budgeting strategy with our elders and they immediately implemented it. We had no idea how this “spend less, give more” budgeting would simplify our year-end budgeting process but more than that it increased our outreach into the community.
A few years later, and our monthly elder meetings are a blast as we seek ways to steward the excess. Should we send all of our missionaries a bonus? What if we buy gift cards for single parents? How much should we give to meet the physical needs of children in Stone and Taney counties?
Our outreach into the community and around the world increased exponentially because we decided not to be a financially “strapped” church. By giving our budget room to breathe, we freed ourselves to serve others better. Even though we budget for missions within our 90% budget, having a cushion frees us up to do even more. Here are just a few ways we minister to our congregation, community and world.
Mercy Offering – The first Sunday of every month is highly anticipated at Woodland Hills. After we take the Lord’s Supper, we take a mercy offering. This goes to meet the physical needs of our church family. Our giving goes to help families pay for rent, utility bills, gas, groceries, clothes, prescriptions and medical bills. We encourage our church members to bring us their needs (Acts 4:32).
Care for Kids – A few years ago, our church teamed up with the Silver Dollar City Foundation’s Care for Kids program to meet the physical needs of children in our community by funding benevolence in the 14 school districts in our surrounding counties. The Care for Kids program distributes funds to the counselors at area schools to immediately meet needs of children. These funds buy coats, eyeglasses, meals, shoes, and any item that a child needs to stay warm, nourished, and healthy. The first year our church committed $14,000 to Care for Kids, but because of our 90% budgeting we tripled that amount to $42,000 right before we cut the check. Every month we hear stories of children blessed by the little extra help.
Christmas Giving Tree – Every November we set up a huge tree in our church foyer. The ornaments are envelopes with the names of families in need. Inside the envelope is a list of names, ages and interests of each family member. Members of our church adopt a family off of the tree, shop with that list in hand and deliver the presents along with food right before Christmas.
Missionary Christmas Bonuses – Missionaries are often overlooked this time of year. Christmas is the perfect time to reach into your church and community, but it also a great time to reach into the world. We send all of our missionaries a financial Christmas gift each November. We encourage them to use the money to get away and enjoy a little rest and relaxation with their family. We seek to honor and prioritize the missionary’s marriage and family, so they can enjoy life and each other.
When I consider the simple ways in which we encourage generosity, I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words to the believers in Corinth: “And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. 2 In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4 they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. 5 And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us” 2 Corinthians 8:1-5.
Pastor, let’s encourage our congregations to spend less and give more. Let’s all participate in willing and joyful generosity to the church, community, and world.

Rabu, 16 November 2016

Dig Deep: You’re Stronger Than You Think

Dig Deep: You’re Stronger Than You Think

vintage man in suit looking down into well hole
Awhile back I was doing a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout over on a nearby running/biking trail. Along the trail there’s a fairly steep hill that takes about a minute to sprint up at full speed. For my workout, I would charge up the hill as fast as I could, walk/jog back down, and repeat the sequence ten times. It puts you in a nice amount of pain.
Halfway through the last sprint in my set, my legs and lungs were crying for mercy. I felt sure my body could not possibly run a single more step. But just as I was about to slow down into a walk, a pair of lovely ladies crested over the top of the hill and came jogging towards me. In that moment, an involuntary pride response kicked in, and I somehow found another gear and continued to haul butt to the top of the hill.
A seemingly insignificant moment in my life, but it actually spurred a great deal of reflection. I had felt sure I was physically spent, but then found deeper reserves of strength left to tap. My mind had lied to me. What else, I wondered, might my mind be lying about?

As it turns out, a great deal. We all have deep wells of strength that we may never even know exist, as they are closely guarded by a brain that would rather loaf and maintain the status quo than take you to the next level. But don’t be fooled by this tight-fisted sentinel – you’re physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than you think.

You’re Physically Stronger Than You Think

Athletes have always known there is a connection between one’s mind and one’s performance – that you can will yourself to keep going when the body grows fatigued. But recent studies have shown that the mind can have quite the opposite effect – slowing you down before you’re actually physically spent. In essence, the very fatigue your brain fights against was created by…your brain!
This fact was fascinatingly demonstrated in a study conducted by scientists from the University of Kent in England and the French Institute of Health and Medical Research. In the study, two groups of men spent 90 minutes sitting in a chair. The first group was asked to count flashing letters on a computer screen (a task proven to induce mental fatigue), while the second group watched a relaxing nature video. Then the men in both groups pedaled a specialized ergometer, while electrodes zapped their leg muscles in order to produce “maximum contractile force.” The more fatigued a muscle is, the less it will respond to these shocks.
The men in the first group who had done the letter counting task tired out 13% faster than those who had watched the movie, and they perceived the exercise as being much more difficult than the second group did.
Yet the muscles of both groups responded exactly the same way to the electrodes, producing just as much force from the shocks. The men in the first group, whose minds had been tuckered out by the counting task, felt more tired and gave up more easily, but their muscles were in fact just as fresh as the men who had simply watched the movie. As the researchers concluded, “our feelings do not always reflect our physiological state.”
In another study conducted at Northumbria University in England, cyclists were put on stationary bikes and told to pedal as fast as they could for about 2.5 miles. After several of these sessions, the cyclists had gotten a sense of what seemed to be the fastest pace they were capable of.
Then the researchers put a computer screen in front of them which displayed a virtual course and two avatars – one which would represent the current rate at which the participant was pedaling the stationary bike, and one which the cyclist would be “racing” against. In the first group, the cyclists were deceived and told that the avatar they would be “competing” against would be moving at the pace of their own previous best effort. In fact, the avatar would be going 2% faster than the cyclist’s personal record. In the second group, the participants were informed upfront about the competing avatar’s speedier pace.
Cyclists in the second group, doubting they could possibly go 2% faster than their previous best effort, gave up and simply matched their old PR.
But the deceived cyclists, believing that the competing avatar was simply going at their own best pace, and knowing they were capable of duplicating that pace, sped up to catch it, and thus unknowingly went 2% faster than they ever had before. (2% may not seem like much, but it can make a huge difference in a race environment.)
What’s going on in these studies? While the extent of an athlete’s capabilities has usually focused on things like muscles, heart, and lungs, it seems the mind also plays a crucial role in setting limits for one’s performance. Timothy Noakes, professor of exercise and sports science at the University of Cape Town in South Africa, calls this limit-setter the “central governor” of the brain. And this governor is conservative. It’s easily worried about you using up your body’s limited fuel, and so puts the brakes on your exertion long before you’ve reached your true physical limits. Yet you may never know that you’ve got more to give, as your brain is very adept at deceiving you into thinking that you can’t possibly go any faster or harder.
In other words, your brain is lazy, and a no good, yellow-bellied liar.

You’re Mentally Stronger Than You Think

Just as your brain can convince you that you’ve reached your physical limits when you really haven’t, it can also tell you you’re too tuckered out for mental tasks, when your noodle actually has more to give.
Some of the most fascinating studies on the link between the mind and physical exertion have shown that simply swishing a sugary drink in your mouth and then spitting it out without swallowing it can boost athletic performance by 2% (again, despite the small number, this represents a significant boost). Your body uses glucose for fuel during exercise, but the swish-n-spit effect occurs even when the muscles still have plenty of glucose left to burn, and even though the athlete hasn’t actually ingested any glucose! The sugary drink in the mouth tricks the brain’s anxious, bean-counting central governor into thinking that more fuel is on the way, leading it to relax its guard on your supply so you can continue to push yourself.
Researchers wondered if the swish-n-spit effect would also work when it came to sticking with purely mental tasks. As we’ve discussed before, your willpower is a finite resource that is depleted each time you exercise your self-control. If you use your willpower up on one task, you then have less of it for the next one. It used to be thought that this process of willpower depletion occurred because exercising self-control utilized glucose in the body, and the lower your glucose went, the less willpower you had at your disposal. For this reason, eating something was suggested as a way to replenish your willpower supply, and indeed studies showed that willpower-depleted individuals were able to exercise greater self-control after they had a snack, particularly something sweet.
But a recent study found that simply swishing a sugary drink in the mouth without swallowing it had the very same effect. Participants were first given a willpower-sapping task like working on impossible-to-solve math problems, reading a boring piece of writing, or avoiding a plate of cookies and eating radishes instead. With their mental fortitude sapped, they would then give up more easily when presented with another tedious task. However, when the participants swished their mouths with a sugary drink in between the self-control-requiring tasks, they stuck with them longer. Even though the participants hadn’t actually ingested any glucose, sensing sugar in the mouth was enough to trick the anxious, fuel-monitoring central governor into girding up their minds for another round of effort.
Just as with physical exertion, your brain lies to you about what you’re mentally capable of; it tells you your willpower is tapped out, when really there’s plenty of mental energy being held in reserve.

You’re Emotionally Stronger Than You Think

The brain not only gets anxious about expending too much energy in the midst of physical and mental exertions, it also wrings its metaphorical hands when simply anticipating a challenge to your emotional capabilities.
People often think that if something tragic befell them – like losing a spouse or becoming paralyzed in an accident – they’d be crushed and could not possibly go on and lead a happy life. But as we discussed in this post, studies have not born this out and in fact show that human beings are far more resilient than we usually give ourselves credit for.
In studies done on older couples — those who had been married for decades — 6 months after losing their spouses, 50% of the surviving partners experienced little to no symptoms of acute grief or depression, and only 10% of participants suffered from a chronic depression that lasted longer than 18 months. This is not to say the participants did not miss their deceased spouses a good deal, but that happiness did return to their lives relatively quickly, and their grief was not as debilitating as many people imagine it would be.
Another study that followed people after they had become paralyzed in an accident found that the happiness of the victims returned to near their baseline pre-accident levels within months following the injury. And they took more pleasure in mundane tasks and felt more optimistic about their future prospects of happiness than another group which was also studied — those who had won the lottery.
Contrary to what you might think when you ponder dealing with a tragedy and feel a pit in your stomach, human beings have an incredible capacity to bounce back from even the most crushing of blows.

Tapping Into Your Hidden Wells of Strength

Now in fairness to our dear old brain, it’s anxious and lazy for a reason. Back when basic survival was its most paramount concern, conserving your energy helped keep you alive.
Nowadays, since most of us have the basic necessities of life, we can afford to turn our focus to the top tier of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, i.e., self-actualization. Thus in the modern world, our brain’s desire to maintain the status quo can hold us back instead of moving us forward, and can keep us from becoming “superhuman.”
So how do you gain access to these well-guarded reserves of strength?
The first step is to simply call your brain on its bluff. When I want to rest during my workout or feel like I don’t have enough mental energy to focus while I’m reading, I seriously have found it quite helpful to think something like, “Shut the flip up brain! You’re lying to me, bro!” (My brain and I are bros.) More positive self-talk (“I’m feeling good!) works the best for some people. Either way, it’s like telling the emperor he has no clothes. Simply acknowledging the illusion that you’re totally tapped out can vaporize it, providing the spurt of motivation you need to dig deeper. Studies have in fact proven the efficacy of this kind of motivational self-talk; those who engage in it throughout their workout are able to exert themselves harder and longer, while actually feeling that the exercise is less difficult, than those who do not give themselves a continual pep talk.
With HIIT training, using a treadmill is something else I have found that works in upping the intensity of your effort. As opposed to running outside or on a track where you can often unconsciously slow down even when you feel you’re busting butt, on a treadmill you can lock in a very challenging pace, and then have no choice but to run that fast.
When it comes to both physical and mental challenges, introducing competition is key in helping you reach a level you wouldn’t have been able to training by yourself. In a study similar to the first one mentioned at the start of this article, cyclists were told they were racing against a competitor who was hidden behind a large screen. This competitor and his pace were projected for the cyclist to see as he pedaled furiously on a stationery bike. In reality, the “competitor” was simply an avatar moving at the participant’s own previous best pace. Spurred by the fire of competition to work harder, the cyclist was able to beat himself and go faster than he ever had before.
Deadlines are also an effective tool for helping you grow and get outside of your comfort zone. When you can’t back out of something, you have no choice but to push past the resistance and dig deeper, or risk losing your reputation as a reliable man. As an example, when we published the first post in a series on honor, we promised more articles on its history, decline, and possible resurgence. But when we dug more into the research, we realized how insanely complicated both the history and meaning of honor really are. Attempting to synthesize the information and make a coherent argument taxed my mind like it has never been taxed before. It was mentally excruciating. Had I not promised more articles on the subject, I simply would have given up, but what could I do? I had to deliver. Even though finishing each article felt like crapping out a pineapple every couple weeks, the task was accomplished. Having discovered another layer of what my brain is capable of, I now feel undaunted about tackling other ambitious projects.
And of course, you can always try swishing your mouth with a sugary drink! You have to use the real stuff though; you won’t get the same boost from something that’s artificially sweetened. Try sucking on a hard candy if you don’t mind the calories.
Of course, emotional challenges are a little more complicated. Telling your brain to buck up in the midst of grief or depression is not usually terribly effective. What can help is talking to people who have been through something similar and come out the other side. Journaling can help too. By being able to look back on past dark periods of life, and remember you made it through, you can feel greater hope and confidence that you’ll be able to handle this challenge as well. That this too, shall pass.
Physically, mentally, emotionally…when you feel like you can’t go on, don’t believe the lie. Dig deep. You’re stronger than you think.
Last updated: 2016-11-10

4 Reasons You Never Follow Through With 'Quiet Time'

4 Reasons You Never Follow Through With 'Quiet Time'

The struggle is real but it doesn't have to be.
If you’re like me, you probably have every intention to spend time with Jesus in the morning … or evening. Or during your break in the afternoon.
You hear your pastor speak on the importance of spending time in your Bible daily or how important it is to sit with Jesus each day but all of your intentions never quite turn into action.
It can be a source of guilt but I’m convinced that failing in this area doesn’t have to be a source of discouragement. Sometimes we just approach quiet time the wrong way.
It is possible to follow through.
Here are four reasons you probably don’t follow through with quiet time, as well as what you should do instead.

Starting Too Ambitiously

“Starting today, I’m going to read one chapter of the Bible and pray for 30 minutes each day.”
That’s a great idea, but if you aren’t used to reading your Bible or have grown into this discipline, it may feel like going from 0 to 100 MPH on a scooter. It might be possible but it isn’t sustainable. You’ll lose speed quickly.
Instead, find a time you can stay consistent with and stick to that. You might not be able to spend 30 minutes a day at first. But you can probably spend 5-10 minutes. Start there and slowly work your way up. Once you get into the rhythm and start seeing the benefits of your devotional time, 30 minutes, or even longer, might not be so unattainable anymore.

Getting Too Far Behind

Don’t let any amount of guilt keep you from getting to know about the heart of your God.
Yearly devotionals are my demise. When it’s November and I find myself reading February 5th’s entry, it’s hard not to feel inadequate. That’s why I generally don’t choose devotionals that correspond with dates. Or if I do, I ignore the dates completely.
Right now I’m reading the bible chronologically. And I'm going at my own speed.
If you miss a day or two of your quiet time, it isn’t the end of the world. This won’t be the last time you miss a day or two, and that’s OK. Just don’t give up. No, seriously. Don’t give up.
Spending time with Jesus is a discipline but once you begin seeing the fruits of that investment in your relationship with him, it will become easier. Find a method that works for you. Maybe a devotional can help you stay on track with daily readings. But make sure that you don't let this habit fall to the wayside because before you know it, a year goes by and your goal of completing a study or staying consistent grows further and further away.

Reading at the Wrong Time of Day

I tried the early-morning-prayer-closet approach. It didn’t work for me.
Sleep was far too tempting. Then I tried the before-I-go-to-bed quiet time. Again, sleep beckoned with a sweeter voice.
Instead, I now build my time with Jesus into my daily to-do list. I get to check it off my list and it feels great. My Wunderlist app literally says “spend time with God” and I cross it off. It felt wrong at first—scheduling time with God as a task—but it works for me.
Maybe that won’t work for you; we all need different approaches. Experiment with a time of day that works best for your schedule. Maybe lunch gives you an opportunity to spend time with God. Or get out of the door early each day and read in the parking lot before you get to work or school. Maybe it’s not that you can’t succeed at following through at quiet time but that you just haven’t found the time that works for you.

Losing Interest

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Let’s be real. Sometimes quiet time gets weird.
You may not feel like it, or you sit still trying to meditate on what you just read and all you hear are your own thoughts. A designated quiet time is a tool to help you grow closer to God. It’s certainly not the only time you can hear from God or communicate with Him.
Maybe you would find it easier if you read Scriptures that immediately spoke to a situation you’re struggling with or if you talked to God about what’s already on your mind. He already knows where our minds wander to, you might as well invite Him into those whether they’re checklists to get you through the rest of the day, anxieties or hopes. Eventually, you’ll find that God honors being welcomed into those thoughts, too.
Don’t let guilt keep you from getting to know the heart of God. After all, He’s the solution of guilt. Not the source of it.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/4-reasons-you-never-follow-through-quiet-time#5t5FWPvv3X0525eH.99

Stop the Rumor Mill From Grinding Your Family

Stop the Rumor Mill From Grinding Your Family

people-in-churchby Jim L. Wilson
They said Jesus was a drunk, Paul was not really an apostle, and that anyone could do Moses’ job. So you are in good company if people are circulating false rumors about you.
Rumors in the church may be inevitable, but damage to your family is not. Although I cannot stop rumors from circulating, I can keep my family from hearing all of them. Though my family serves alongside me, we don’t discuss problems at home. I don’t tell my family the negative things people say about me because I don’t want them to resent others in the church.
But sometimes a minister’s family hears rumors from elsewhere, or the allegations are so serious that he must discuss them with his family. If this happens to you, tell your family members what they need to know, and ask them not to defend you.
Keep them informed
A minister in Texas was under attack from a disturbed man who spread vicious stories of child molestation and adultery with his elderly wife. The man threatened to kill the minister if he didn’t stop the “affair.”
The minister did two things. First, he enlisted a policeman to keep an eye on the man during worship services. Second, he told his wife what was being said, explained the man’s mental condition, and outlined the measures he had taken to protect himself. Their conversation helped prepare her to hear the rumors from others.
A former colleague resigned his ministry because of allegations of financial impropriety. He did not steal, but he did spend church funds without proper authorization. Still, the rumors were far worse that the reality.
He told his children the rumors were not true. Then in their presence he asked God to forgive him for not following the proper channels and to forgive the people who were hurting him. He did more than correct the misinformation — he modeled grace and humility to his family.
Encourage a soft answer
The chairman of the deacons in a church I once served called a special meeting to “investigate allegations” about me. The chairman invited those repeating the rumors but prohibited me from attending. I felt powerless.
My wife was livid when she heard about the meeting. She wanted to confront the chairman with his unethical behavior. I asked her not to, trusting that God would protect me and knowing her call would only make matters worse.
If you want to stop the rumor mill, you can’t let strong emotions overrule your reasoning ability. Instead, stay in control of your response. If appropriate, confront those involved, and correct the misinformation.
You can’t always stop the rumor mill from working. But, with patience and wisdom, you can keep it from working overtime in your family.

Sabtu, 05 November 2016

Do you pay attention to your spouse?

Do you pay attention to your spouse?

Nov 04, 2016 08:36 am | Mike Glenn



If you’re going to buy a car, you would do a little research. You would talk to friends, read car blogs and magazines, and search the web for insights and facts about the car you wanted to drive. Coaches watch game films, not only to better understand their opponents, but to study their own strengths and weaknesses. If you were going to buy a business, you would do “due diligence.” That is, you would do the necessary research to fully understand the business and its market. No general would think of initiating an attack without doing the necessary reconnaissance.
stocksnap_yp16a1gvkn Yet, when it comes to our marriages, we naively believe “we’ll just know” what we’re supposed to do. Let me ask you a question. Does that work in any area of your life? Then, what makes you think it will work in your marriage?
Like any good leader, we have to do the necessary research and study our spouses. I call it “Spousal Recon.”
Here’s what I mean. We should pay such close attention to our spouses that we begin to know them better than they know themselves. We know their dreams and disappointments. We should know their loves and frustrations. We should be able to tell their stories better than they can.
And yes, husbands you should know her dress size and what colors she looks best in. You should know her favorite flower and her favorite restaurant. (If you don’t know, ASK!)
Yes, wives, you should know his favorite football team and his favorite rock band. You should know what movies make him cry…and why. You should know what shirts he looks good in and understand his relationship with his dad. You should know his dreams and failures, his fears and hopes…that’s right…better and deeper than he does.
Our marriage relationship is one of the biggest investments we ever make in our lives. It’s worth a little work—a little research—a little spousal recon—in order to have everything in your marriage you looking for.
The post Do you pay attention to your spouse? appeared first on MikeGlennOnline.com.
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Kamis, 03 November 2016

Dancing Over Your Pastor: Extending Appreciation and Delight

Dancing Over Your Pastor: Extending Appreciation and Delight

Parents and Children walkingby Tim Nelson
It comes over me unexpectedly, with no apparent trigger or pattern. Suddenly, the waters of my delight burst over the walls of decorum: I sweep one of my kids into my arms and dance.
It once came over you, too. You danced on toddler tiptoes at the window as your daddy turned his car into the driveway after a business trip. You danced in sneakers after making that shot at the buzzer, or in slippers after putting down the phone when Mr. Perfect asked you to the prom. It comes over you less, now that you are older. But I’ve seen you break into the dance now and then — there in the bleachers, high-fiving total strangers; there in the pew, arms extended to Abba Father. You can still dance.
Good for you. We need to dance more.
Did you know that God the Father dances? Consider His own words in Zephaniah. For three chapters you hear Him stomp and kick furniture around in wall-to-wall indignation over the behavior of His incorrigible kids. Then, suddenly, the stomping turns to rhythmic tapping and the shouting to joyful singing as the Father dances and sings over His children (3:17). I don’t think He can help Himself.
Everyone needs to be danced over. Even Jesus needed to be danced over. True, Jesus was God, and God doesn’t need anything. True, Scripture either states or implies that Jesus had a clear identity and sense of calling, a sinless nature, continuous fellowship with the Father, the fullness of the Spirit with all the accompanying fruit, and an abundance of abilities. With a resumé like that, who needs to be danced over?
Jesus did. How else can you explain three incidents in the Gospels when, after 400 years of divine, quiet decorum, God the Father’s delight splashes over the levies of Heaven and into our world in a shocking way?
The Father dances at Jesus’ baptism. “You are My Son, the beloved, in you I am well pleased!” (Mark 1:11, Luke 3:22). Public validation? Maybe. Divine delight? Without a doubt.
The Father dances on the Mount of Transfiguration, just before Jesus’ resolute journey to the cross. “This is My Son, the beloved one, in whom I am well pleased! Listen to Him!” (Matthew 17:5). Peter, James and John are the ones directly addressed, but the Father intentionally allows Jesus to eavesdrop. (Have you ever experienced the soul-bathing wholeness of overhearing someone proclaim his unbridled delight in you?)
The Father breaks into dance again during Passion Week. Jesus is deeply troubled at His looming crucifixion. Eavesdrop with me: “My soul has become troubled! Father, save Me from this hour! But for this purpose, I came to this hour. Father, glorify Thy name.” Again came the voice: “I have glorified it and will glorify it again.” (John 12:27,28). His past, present and future — a glory to God the Father.
If Jesus, the Good Shepherd, needed to be danced over — to experience the unbridled delight and affirmation of the Father (and, one could argue, even the delight of devoted followers such as Mary, with her shocking breech of decorum with perfume and tears and hair) — then how much more does your local undershepherd need the same?
To dance well over your pastor — that is, to show delight and affirmation — you need to know something about the unique perils of his vocation. Consider three word pictures of his call.
He’s the bus driver traveling through the fog. Most church leaders and laymen expect their pastor to be the driver behind the wheel of ministry vision, knowing the path and the destination and steering with steady confidence. In those quiet moments, as he looks out the ministry windshield down the road ahead, many pastors see only deep, dark fog. Should it be otherwise? Following Jesus is a journey of faith. Have you driven at night in deep fog — in a blanket so thick that the only way you know you are on the road at all is the faint white line at your right bumper?
To drive alone in these conditions is unnerving. But when you are responsible for dozens, hundreds or thousands of passengers, a journey in these conditions can be paralyzing.
Dancing over your pastor means slipping beside him in the passenger seat so he’s not alone; assuring him that the fog of faith’s journey is essential, so he’s not afraid; and urging him to relax his white-knuckle grip, so he’s not stripped of the joy of the journey that God promised to successfully complete (Philippians 1:6).
He’s Odysseus at the helm. On his treacherous voyage back to Troy, Odysseus and his crew sailed by islands inhabited by the Sirens. These maidens sang and played the flute and lyre with such beauty that passing mariners were lured to their destruction. Having been warned of the Sirens, Odysseus packed beeswax into the ears of each crewman, giving strict orders to cinch him to the mast of his ship and maintain course despite Odysseus’ pleas, orders or threats to the contrary.
Daily, sirens in the form of suggestions, seminars and superstars summon your pastor to change course. To stay tied to the mast — staying the course of methodical, inch-by-inch progress in spiritual formation — is agonizing when there are so many alluring voices summoning him to change course. That he is traveling in the fog only make these beautiful, confident voices all the more alluring. Sure, your church could use some course correction, and your pastor some skill sharpening. But maybe it’s time to dance — to pack the beeswax of contentment into your soul, to begin ignoring the enticing shortcuts and ministry divas, and to embrace the slow, short-cut-free voyage of spiritual formation as a loyal member of his crew.
He’s the hockey goalie in the net. Very few fans care about or remember the many shots on goal that the goalie stops. But pity the goalie when he misses one. At my alma mater, a rabid hockey university, fans were ruthless when a puck slipped through. The fans would toss every description of strainers out on the ice, taunting, “Sieve! Sieve! Sieve!” As one NHL goalie whimpered, “How’d you like a job where every time you make a mistake, a big red light comes on and crowds begin to boo?”
Like the goalie, a pastor’s mistakes (both on and off the ice, as it were) affect the whole team. Unlike the goalie, the shots that slip through your pastor’s hands may have devastating, even eternal, consequences. Few church leaders and laymen acknowledge the daily, faithful plodding. Many appear poised to throw sieves. Dancing over your pastor means applauding the many mundane saves he makes, and granting grace — sometimes lavish grace — when an occasional shot slips through his hands.
I hope you dance.
I may never grab my pastor and twirl him around the narthex, but I’m learning how to dance. After church a few weeks ago, I broke into dance over one of my pastors, though frankly, my dance was pretty lame: a very brief e-mail thanking him for his mundane labors, affirming his call and celebrating his heart. A few weeks later, I continued the dance over coffee. Between sips, he told me he had forwarded my e-mail to a pastor-friend across the country, who e-mailed back, suggesting he frame it and hang it in his office.
Its value came from its rarity.
According to recent statistics, the average tenure of a pastor is three years (two years for youth pastors). In other words, the odds are just slightly better than a coin toss that this time next year your pastor will still be your pastor. Should you be surprised? The fog is thick, the siren voices many and enticing, the fans fickle. We dare not wait until the last verse of the last song. Let’s take a cue from the Father. . . .
It’s time to dance!

How 1 Question Changed a Boy

How 1 Question Changed a Boy

How 1 Question Changed a Boy
“Questions have HUGE potential in your preteen ministry. Ask them. Make room for preteens to ask them.”

We’ll call him Jake.

That’s not his real name, but he is a real preteen boy. Last week, he came in like he normally does, timidly and looking a bit unhappy.
His life has been a little tough. His dad lives across the country, and he goes to spend time with him for a few months each summer. Mom says she left with the kids, in part, because of Dad’s “almost abusive” way of speaking to her and the kids. Jake has trouble in school, and is a bit socially awkward.
Last Wednesday night, in our preteen ministry, the lesson was about how the God of the universe was, at one point, a preteen boy.
Each of the 12 small groups provided answers to prompts like “Somewhere a typical preteen would wander off to.” and “How a parent responds to a typical preteen when they are trying to explain something.”
We took the group’s answers, and (MadLib style) stuck them into Luke 2:41-52. We saw what the story would have been if Jesus had been a “typical” preteen boy. Instead of being in the temple courtyards, Jesus was at a friend’s house. Instead of asking the religious teachers’ questions, Jesus was jumping on a trampoline. As he grew up, instead of increasing “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man,” he started dating.
It was humorous, but delivered a strong point: Jesus was different. This point wasn’t lost on Jake. But…it didn’t have any affect on him.

UNTIL…

We asked the preteens to write their answers to two questions: “What is God revealing to you tonight?” and “What questions do you have about what you’re hearing?” Then we broke into Small Groups to discuss what they wrote.
In Jake’s Small Group, he stared at the ceiling (like normal). But then, Danny asked a question he had written down: “Did Jesus have friends when he was a preteen?”
The Small Group leader, wisely, didn’t provide an answer. Instead, he turned to Jake and asked him, “What do you think, Jake? Do you think Jesus had friends when he was a preteen?”
Something clicked. The Small Group leader saw it happen. The question did something powerful inside of Jake’s mind and heart. Questions are like that. Maybe that’s why Jesus asked so many of them (the Gospels record over 300 questions from Jesus).
Jake looked straight at the Small Group leader—not typical for him. And he started talking. He talked for a while—not typical for him. He said something like this: “I don’t think Jesus had friends. He was different, and kids make fun of people who are different. Jesus probably spent a lot of time alone because he was different than everybody else.”
After Small Group Time, Jake was smiling. From the front of the room, leading worship, I noticed a difference in him. He worshipped like I’ve never seen him worship before. He had a look of peace on his face.
Something about being asked that question, searching for the answer and finding truth for himself had a great impact on him: “Jesus was different. Jesus understands what it’s like to be me. I have a friend.”
That’s the power of questions!
Questions have HUGE potential in your preteen ministry. Ask them. Make room for preteens to ask them.
Want to train your team on using questions more effectively in your ministry? Check out our newest training.
This article originally appeared here.
Sean Sweet

Sean Sweet

Sean Sweet is the Community Facilitator for FourFiveSix.org, and is dedicated to raising the value of your ministry to preteens.

Is It Sinful to Watch Porn With My Spouse?

Is It Sinful to Watch Porn With My Spouse?

Is It Sinful to Watch Porn with My Spouse?
“What does it say about Christ and his love to his church if you feed the moment of sweetest, purest union with the poison of putrid food from pornographic sexual sin?”
Welcome back to the Ask Pastor John podcast. Once again we are going to address a sensitive subject today that is not suitable for younger listeners. And sadly this is a question we get a lot—a lot more than you might think, Pastor John—somewhere around 30 times over the years. It comes to us sometimes from men, but mostly from perplexed women. Most recently the question comes from an anonymous listener who simply asks: “Pastor John, is it sinful to watch pornography with my spouse before sex?”
Yes, it is. It is sin. And it is a revolting sin. And what makes it so revolting is that, in that very sacred moment—I wonder if our questioner even has a concept of sacred sexuality—in that sacred moment, corruption is abounding in three directions: toward Christ, toward the spouse—which I assume is a wife here being asked to do this—and the marriage, and toward the people in the pornography. In other words, in so many directions, defilement is happening in the mind that carries those sinful images all the way through life, day and night. This act of sexual union between husband and wife is the apex of marital pleasures that represent the pure and holy pleasures between Christ and his church. That is the meaning of sexual intercourse.
When the Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25), it is inconceivable that the pleasures Christ has in the church would be awakened and stimulated by his imaging a prostitute to get his juices flowing. This act of marital sexual union is one of the most intense expressions of the very meaning of marriage; namely, the truth of the words—and I mean words spoken, I pray, in the sexual embrace with your eyes six inches from hers—“You have I chosen above all others. You alone are the one where I feast with pure and unsullied pleasure. I have eyes for no one but you. I do not run after other women in my mind or in my body. I am utterly devoted to you with my mind, with my eyes, with my body. You alone are my pleasure.” That is marriage. That is how the Lord Jesus relates to his bride. That is what you vow at the altar. He has eyes, Jesus has eyes, for no other.
What does it say about Christ and his love to his church if you feed the moment of sweetest, purest union with the poison of putrid food from pornographic sexual sin? And make no mistake, the performing and filming of pornographic acts is sin. What they are doing is sin. They are not acting for the glory of God as you watch them. They are not acting in step with the gospel. They are not pursuing holiness without which no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). They are not acting from faith in Christ, and whatever is not from faith is sin (Romans 14:23). They are not putting to death what is earthly (Colossians 3:5) and setting their minds on Christ and the things above (Colossians 3:1–2). They are not inspiring righteousness and purity and self-sacrificing love in anybody. They are modeling selfish indulgence, bondage to the flesh, rebellion against God and the desire to suck as many people into their sin as they can. And this is the wine you would drink to resist in the sacred enactment of the purest, Christ-exalting, marital pleasures.
I do not know if you are a husband or a wife who asked this question. It is difficult to imagine a wife urging this on her husband. So, let me say to the man: This is a great insult to your wife. Husband, if you have tempted your wife, cajoled her, lured her, persuaded her, seduced her into this pornographic delusion of marital love, you should be ashamed. You should repent now to God, and you should tell her how sorry you are for contaminating something so pure, so tender, so deep, so holy with something so vile. And yes, you should say “vile.” You need to have a word like “vile” in your vocabulary. She is not honored by this practice. She is debased. And a husband who insists on this is acting like an animal, not a husband.
So yes, this is a sin, a revolting sin. Revolting because it blasphemes Christ as if he needed sin to help him love his bride, because it celebrates the sickness and sin of the pornography industry, and because it insults the preciousness of a wife’s heart and body by the one above all others who should cherish and nourish her soul.
John Piper

John Piper

John Piper is the Pastor for Preaching at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. John is the author of more than 30 books and more than 25 years of his preaching and teaching is available free at DesiringGod.org. © Desiring God.

A Life of Integrity

A Life of Integrity

Two women prayingby Samuel Santana
Webster’s Dictionary defines integrity as: 1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: INCORRUPTIBILITY 2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS 3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided.
In studying for a class, I read several books that focus on integrity. I find it fascinating that with so much being written about it and so many classes being offered on the subject, especially in the field of business and leadership, our society still does not follow a more stringent ethical/moral code. I have come to the conclusion that the reason so many people have a hard time living a life of integrity has nothing to do with a lack of knowledge. It is not because we don’t know right from wrong. It’s because it is much more difficult to live a life of integrity and do the right thing than it is to bend the rules and lend a blind eye to doing what’s easy. It is HARD to live a life of integrity.
That said, I’d like to share some characteristics that those who wish to live a life of integrity should follow:
  1. Keep Commitments
In the good ol’ days, people shook hands to close the deal on verbal agreements. The need for contracts and lawyers wasn’t nearly as necessary as it is today. People gave their word, and that was enough. Commitments were kept. When a couple entered into marriage, they exchanged vows promising for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live. They made a commitment. I challenge you to keep your commitments. Whether it is a commitment to your marriage, a commitment at work with colleagues or clients, or a commitment to fulfill the promise you made to your kids to go to the park after school, be a person of your word!
  1. Speak the Truth
Slander and gossip are vicious habits and do an enormous amount of harm. I like to visualize slander and gossip as our mouths being guns and our words being bullets. Once our words leave our mouths, just like bullets, they cause harm, if not death, to the target. Once the bullet comes out of the gun, you can’t change your mind and take the bullet back. Our words are like bullets. We need to be careful to speak the truth, and do it with love. Imagine a world where everything we said about anyone (whether they were in our presence or not) was to edify and build them up!
  1. Practice Self-Control
We are bombarded with messages like “if it feels good, do it;” “just do it;” or “look out for number one.” Not great messages if you want to live a life of integrity. Sometimes, having integrity means you look out for what is best for others before you seek your own interests. Integrity cannot be associated with selfishness. They are polar opposites. Practice self-control and before you take any action, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? Will my actions have a harmful effect on anyone?”
  1. Learn How to Pray
Jesus modeled how to live a life of integrity, and it began with prayer. There are many moments in Scripture when Jesus gives examples of prayer. Interestingly, He teaches us not only how to pray, but also how not to pray. In Matthew 6 Jesus is giving His disciples examples of how not to pray, and then He shares with them an example of the kind of prayer we should practice. True prayer begins with recognizing God the Father, surrendering to His will, asking for what you need, forgiving others and accepting forgiveness, and receiving the divine protection of God.

Down Syndrome Lives Matter

Down Syndrome Lives Matter

2016-10-29_featured

Fetal testing greatly increased the number of children with Down Syndrome aborted each year. Ethicist Peter Singer argues that infanticide should also be permitted. October’s national Down Syndrome Awareness month is a time to examine these ghoulish facts.

In ancient Rome, babies born with disabilities or serious illnesses were often exposed on hills, a barbaric practice that was eventually stopped when (and because) Christianity became the Empire’s official religion.
Alas, killing babies born with birth defects is making a comeback in our Post Christian times.  Indeed, support for infanticide is not only gaining respectability among the bioethics and medical intelligentsia—it is becoming positively trendy.
Princeton University’s Peter Singer deserves much of the blame for this change.  Back when infanticide support was still an anathema, Singer began advocating for the right of parents to kill unwanted newborns.  He didn’t put it that starkly, of course.  He always used the example of babies born with serious disabilities such as Down syndrome.  Thus, he wrote on page 213 of 1994 his book Rethinking Life and Death:
To have a child with Down syndrome is to have a different experience from having a normal child…For some parents, none of this matters.  They find bringing up a child with Down syndrome a rewarding experience in a thousand different ways. But for other parents, it is devastating.
Both for the sake of ‘our children,’ then, and for our own sake, we may not want a child to start life’s uncertain voyage if the prospects are clouded. When this is known at a very early stage of the voyage we may still have a chance to make a fresh start.  This means detaching ourselves from the infant who has been born, cutting ourselves free before the ties that have already begun to bind us to our child have become irresistible. Instead of going forward and putting all our efforts into making the best of the situation, we can still say no, and start again from the beginning.
Singer is a master of using passive language and euphemisms to mask the brutality of what he advocates. But make no mistake, his phrases, “detaching ourselves,” and choosing to “start again from the beginning,” refer to baby killing.
Alas, Peter Singer is no longer alone.  After doctors from Groningen University Medical Center in the Netherlands admitted in 2004 that they euthanized dying and profoundly disabled babies under what has come to be called the “Groningen Protocol,” support for infanticide appeared in some of this country’s most prestigious professional journals and newspapers.  Unsurprisingly, the charge was led by Singer, who defended the Protocol in the Los Angeles Times.  (“Pulling Back the Curtain on the Mercy Killing of Newborns,” March 11, 2005)
But it didn’t stop there.  On March 19, 2005, the New York Times carried a highly sympathetic report about the Protocol, “A Crusade Born of a Suffering Infant’s Cry,”   a puff profile of one of the leaders of the Dutch infanticide movement, Dr. Eduard Verhagen, “a father of three who spent years tending to sick children in underdeveloped countries.” The article laments, “For his efforts to end what he calls their unbearable and incurable suffering, Dr. Verhagen has been called Dr. Death, a second Hitler and worse — mostly by American opponents of euthanasia.” Poor baby.
On March 10, 2005, the New England Journal of Medicine lent its prestige to two Dutch doctors, allowing them to explain dispassionately to Journal readers how the Groningen Protocol seeks “to develop norms” for infanticide.
And now in “Ending the Life of a Newborn,” the Hastings Center Report—the most important bioethics journal in the world—has just published another pro Groningen Protocol article, granting even greater support for Dutch infanticide among the bioethics intelligentsia.  Not only do the authors, a Dutch and an American bioethicist, support lethally injecting dying babies, but also those who are disabled, writing, “Critics charge that the protocol does not successfully identify which babies will die. But it is precisely those babies who could continue to live, but whose lives would be wretched in the extreme, who stand in most need of the interventions for which the protocol offers guidance.”
The article assumes that guidelines will protect against abuse, but infanticide is by definition abuse. Moreover, even if undertaken in good faith, Dutch euthanasia guidelines for adults and teenagers have continually been violated without legal consequence for decades, and so why would any rational observer expect anything different from infanticide regulations?  Even the authors understand that mistakes will happen and, typical of the mindset, assume that if murder of the helpless is committed in front of an open window it is somehow more acceptable:
Determining in an instant case whether the protocol is applicable will always require judgment, and because the stakes are inordinately high no matter what is decided, the judgment must be made with fear and trembling. That said, however, we believe that transparency in the deliberations concerning the ending of an infant’s life–which is just as important as it is in the deliberations concerning euthanasia in adults–is adequately promoted by the protocol’s requirements.
It wasn’t many years ago that almost everyone accepted that infanticide is intrinsically and inherently wrong. Clearly, this is no longer true. With growth of personhood theory that denies the intrinsic value of human life, and with the invidiously discriminatory “quality of life” utilitarian ethic permeating the highest levels of the medical and bioethical thinking, we are moving toward a medical system in which babies are put down like dogs and killing is redefined as a caring act.
But bigotry is bigotry and murder is murder—even if you spell it c.o.m.p.a.s.s.i.o.n.
Wesley J. Smith
About The Author
Wesley J. Smith is a senior fellow at the Discovery Institute’s Center on Human Exceptionalism. His new book, Culture of Death: The Age of “Do Harm” Medicine, was just published by Encounter Books.

What You Need to Know about the Character of Jesus

What You Need to Know about the Character of Jesus

  • Timothy Keller TimothyKeller.com
  • 2016 28 Oct
  • COMMENTS
What You Need to Know about the Character of Jesus The Character of Jesus
When we read the Gospels about Jesus, then, what do we see?
One striking feature of the accounts is how they give us no description of Jesus’s appearance. It is inconceivable that a modern journalistic account of any person would fail to tell us something of the kind of figure he cut or even of what he wore. We live in an age intensely concerned with image and nearly obsessed with looks. But here all the emphasis is, we might say, not on the quality of his skin but on the content of his character. And that character was remarkable.
Particularly impressive to readers over the centuries has been what one writer has called “an admirable conjunction of diverse excellencies in Jesus Christ.”[i] That is, in him we see qualities and virtues we would ordinarily consider incompatible in the same person. We would never think they could be combined but, because they are, they are strikingly beautiful. Jesus combines high majesty with the greatest humility, he joins the strongest commitment to justice with astonishing mercy and grace, and he reveals a transcendent self-sufficiency and yet entire trust in and reliance upon his heavenly Father. We are surprised to see tenderness without any weakness, boldness without harshness, humility without any uncertainty, indeed, accompanied by a towering confidence. Readers can discover for themselves his unbending convictions but complete approachability, his insistence on truth but always bathed in love, his power without insensitivity, integrity without rigidity, passion without prejudice.
One of the most counterintuitive combinations in Jesus’s life, that of truth and love, is seen everywhere in the pages of the Gospels. Then as now, people rejected and shamed those who held beliefs or practices that they thought wrong and immoral. But Jesus astonished everyone by being willing to eat with tax collectors, collaborators with the occupying Roman imperial forces. This outraged those we might call the “Left,” those zealous against oppression and injustice. But he also welcomed and ate with prostitutes (Matthew 21:31–32), which offended those promoting conservative, traditional morality on the “Right.” Jesus deliberately and tenderly touched lepers (Luke 5:13), people who were considered physically and ceremonially contaminated but who were desperate for human contact. Yet he also ate repeatedly with Pharisees (Luke 7:36–50; 11:37–44; 14:1–4), showing that he was not bigoted toward the bigoted. He forgave the enemies who were crucifying him (Luke 23:34) and the friends who were letting him down in the hour of his greatest need (Matthew 26:40–43).
SEE ALSO: How the Psalms are Actually Songs of Jesus
Nevertheless, though welcoming and befriending all, Jesus was surprisingly insistent on bearing witness to the truth. Zacchaeus, the despised tax collector, was stunned by Jesus’s love and embrace of him, yet, when hearing his call to repent, stopped his government-backed extortion racket (Luke 19:1–9). When Jesus encounters women who were considered sexually immoral by the society, he engaged them with a respect and graciousness that startled onlookers (Luke 7:39; John 4:9,27). Yet he gently points out to the Samaritan woman the wreckage of her many failed relationships with men and calls her to find the soul satisfaction she has sought in his eternal life (John 4:13–18). In the famous account of the woman caught in adultery, Jesus says to her, in one breath, “Neither do I condemn you,” and in the next, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).[ii] Here we see the counterintuitive but brilliant conjunction of both truth and love, both a passion for justice and a commitment to mercy. He is full of grace and truth (John 1:14).
New Testament scholar Craig Blomberg explains that the religiously respectable of Jesus’s day refused to associate or eat with people considered sinners, such as tax collectors and prostitutes, for fear of becoming morally contaminated by them. Their friendship and love was given only conditionally, to those who had made themselves clean and pure. But Jesus turned the dominant social pattern on its head. He freely ate with the moral and social outcasts. He welcomed and befriended the impure and called them to follow him (Mark 2:13–17). He did not fear that they would contaminate him; rather, he expected that his wholesome love would infect and change them, and again and again this is what happened.[iii]
Content taken from Making Sense of God by Timothy Keller. Reprinted by arrangement with Viking, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2016 by Timothy Keller.
Timothy Keller was born and raised in Pennsylvania and educated at Bucknell University, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and Westminster Theological Seminary. He was first a pastor in Hopewell, Virginia. In 1989, he started Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City with his wife, Kathy, and their three sons. Today, Redeemer has more than five thousand regular Sunday attendees. Dr. Keller also founded Redeemer City to City, which has trained leaders to start more than three hundred new churches in nearly fifty cities around the world. The author of The Reason for God, The Prodigal God, Prayer, The Meaning of Marriage, and The Songs of Jesus, among other books, Timothy Keller lives in New York City with his family. 
SEE ALSO: 10 Things You Should Know about the Love of God


[i] Jonathan Edwards, “The Excellency of Jesus Christ,” in The Works of Jonathan Edwards: Sermons and Discourses 1734–1738, vol. 19, ed. M. X. Lesser (New Haven CT: Yale University Press, 2001), p. 565. The rest of the ideas in this paragraph are from this great sermon by Edwards.
[ii] It is well known that the episode of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11) is not found in the oldest New Testament manuscripts, so most scholars believe it was not originally part of the Gospel of John but rather is a very old account, from another source, that became attached to the Gospel of John. Also, the Greek grammatical constructions and vocabulary do not match well the rest of the book of John. Nevertheless, “there is little reason for doubting that the event here described occurred” and was preserved accurately. D. A. Carson, The Gospel According to John (Leicester, UK: Inter-Varsity, 1991), p. 333. It is quite in line with the rest of the Gospels’ testimony to Jesus’s character.
SEE ALSO: 10 Things You Should Know about God's Attributes
[iii] See Craig Blomberg, Contagious Holiness: Jesus’ Meals with Sinners (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2005).
Publication date: October 28, 2016
Image courtesy: Thinkstockphotos.com