Senin, 30 Januari 2017

Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) In the New Year – Part 1

Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) In the New Year – Part 1

Senior couple cooking togetherby Ted Cunningham
The transition from December to January catches me off guard every year. December prioritizes family gatherings, travel, downtime, and food. January prioritizes goal setting, planning, work and weight loss. In the first few days of January we hear people say, “It’s good to get back to some routine.” “I’m tired of sitting around and the kids are going stir crazy.” “I’m looking forward to getting this next year started.”
We focus at the beginning of the year on what we need to get started. As we plan for the organizational needs of the church, our tendency is to add more, plan more, and schedule more rather than make the most of what we have already committed. January is the perfect time of year to pause and ask, “What are we doing? What’s working? What’s not working?” Every ministry and program of the church requires an investment of time. Stewardship is more than financial responsibility. We must also steward our time and energy. Let’s consider our time and use it wisely.
  1. W. Tozer once wrote, “Time is a resource that is nonrenewable and nontransferable. You cannot store it, slow it up, hold it up, divide it up, or give it up. You can’t hoard it up or save it for a rainy day—when it’s lost it is unrecoverable. When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection.”
God wants us to pursue ministry and enjoy a life in which time is not the enemy. We say things like “I wish I could have more time,” “Sorry, but we’re out of time,” “Where has the time gone?” and “Time sure flies.” We like to max out our lives and make the most of every minute and opportunity. In error, we squeeze out the margin to get the most out of life. We run too fast. We do too much. Hurry kills the soul and the family.
Time is an investment. Investing is all about saving rather than spending. How we use our time today affects how well tomorrow will go. Billy Graham, in a message on time, said, “More than seventy-five years ago Henry Luce wanted a name, in just one word, for a weekly newsmagazine that would describe the passing events of the day. He chose the word ‘time’. The Bible says, ‘The days of our lives are seventy years’ (Psalm 90:10, NKJV). Time is a mystery. We sense its passing in our consciousness. We measure its progress with delicately adjusted instruments. We mark its flight and read the record it leaves behind.” He went on to say, “To the Christian, time has a moral significance and a spiritual meaning. . . . What are we doing with it? Are we frittering it away, letting it slip through our fingers, squandering it in wanton waste? Or are we treasuring it, using it to maximum advantage, filling every minute with sixty seconds’ worth of service to God?”
The Bible never uses the term “time management.” Instead, it speaks of “redeeming” the time. Pacing ourselves, rather than controlling time. Paul writes, “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16, NKJV).
The most important thing to know about time is that it is limited. Armed with that truth, the most important question you and I must begin asking is “What am I going to say no to?” Delayed gratification is saying no to something now in the hopes of something better later.
Many will start dieting this month in an attempt to get physically healthy. Pastors are prone to saying yes to everyone and every need. Your emotional and spiritual health begins by trimming your calendar, saying no to members who have excessive emotional reliance on you and saying yes to activities and disciplines that will keep you full of life. Leave room in your schedule for God to work in your soul. Warning: Once you start maintaining a healthy soul, those with unhealthy souls will begin to resent you and demand more from you. Be on guard from those who seek to drain you. Jesus is your source of life, not your congregation!
In Part 2 of Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) in the New Year, we’ll look at some practical ways to maintain margin and rhythm and plan a calendar that leaves plenty of room for emotional and spiritual health. Your longevity in ministry depends on it!

Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) In the New Year

Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) In the New Year – Part 2

Couple in Parkby Ted Cunningham
In Part 1 of “Guarding Your Schedule (and Soul) in the New Year” we saw how God wants us to pursue ministry and enjoy a life in which time is not the enemy. Hurry kills the soul and the family so we want to pace ourselves and redeem the time. Your longevity in your marriage, family and ministry depends on it!
There is one thing every marriage and family needs. Without it, our children crash and burn emotionally and physically. We are less productive when we don’t get enough of it. Too much of it and some might consider us lazy. Know what it is? It is rest – and we all need it.
Margin is a term we started using more often in the church a few years ago. It means room to breathe. It’s a reserve. We have all been there when we are driving on fumes and can’t find a gas station. Panic and anxiety set in, and we feel helpless. Smart drivers keep a little fuel in the tank at all times. It’s called a reserve. Margin is a lot like a car fueled with reserves. It’s when we refuse to run on fumes.
Margin is the space between your load and your limit. As a dad and pastor, I have often allowed my load to exceed my limit, saying “yes” to every request for a meeting or counseling appointment, “yes” to every invitation to speak, “yes” to every party or meal invite. It wasn’t until a much older and wiser pastor asked me, “Who is holding a gun to your head?” that I woke up to how I was living. He taught me that if I don’t get a hold of my schedule, someone else will. I am a much happier pastor, husband, and dad because I learned the big word “No!”
Being marginless is when you allow your load to exceed your limit. The key word there is you, not load or limit. Admit it, when you first read that line, load and limit jumped out at you. You missed the “you.” We must take personal responsibility for the way we invest our time, the amount of margin we allow, and the rest we get. We are responsible for our load. Don’t allow your load to be dictated by anyone else. After all, only you know your limit. There’s not another person on the planet who understands your limit. You feel when you’ve had enough people time. You know when you better get alone and re-center before you go all “postal.” No one knows you better than you. Your limit is what determines your necessary margin. Good “time redeeming” leaves a little margin in your daily plan. We all need margin and rest.
Since when did I start thinking I was better than God? He rested after creating for six days. Jesus ministered, and then he rested.
God knew we would rebel against the whole idea of rest, so he had to command it: “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” (Exodus 20:8). Holy means set apart. We are not to treat the Sabbath like every other day of the week. It needs a different rhythm. “Six days you shall labor and do all your work” (verse 9). For six days God says to work and provide for your family. He wants us to be productive. He has given us the Sabbath to make us more productive. “But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work” (verse 10). You need to slow down your pace and that of your spouse and your children, and you need to find rest and relax.
A Sabbath does not mean a day off. It means a day of rest. Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27, NLT). The Sabbath is a gift to us. This, my friend, is for your benefit.
Start by saying “No” to time robbers. The demands and expectations of others are the greatest of all time robbers. As a pastor I admit that the church can be quite guilty of this. Woodland Hills is a family church, and one of the things we have guarded more than anything else is family time. It would be crazy to say we support the family and then ask people to be at the church four or five times a week. But here’s the rub. Everything we ask our congregation to take part in involves great ministry opportunity. Feed the poor, attend a Bible study, serve the recovery program, teach kids on Sunday morning—all great opportunities, but not opportunities anyone needs to say “yes” to every time.
We say “no” to really great stuff. But we also say “no” to a bigger and better “yes.” No matter what your role, be careful of the time robbers. Time is the most precious commodity you have. Benjamin Franklin put it best when he said, “Do not squander time, for it is the stuff life is made of.”
How precious is your time? To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. How valuable is an hour? Ask the man or woman whose flight was delayed by that much, causing him to miss an important business deal. How about one minute? Ask the man who had the heart attack in a restaurant and was saved by an EMT proficient in CPR who happened to be sitting at the next table. Does a second mean much to you? It does to the person who barely missed a head-on collision with an oncoming car. Surely a millisecond isn’t a big deal—unless you’re the Olympic swimmer who missed qualifying by six-tenths.
Time is precious. Let’s be careful with the number of times we say “Yes” in a week. Your family and church need a healthy pastor ministering from a healthy soul.

What’s Different About A Pastor’s Marriage?

What’s Different About A Pastor’s Marriage?

couple-smiling-at-each-otherby John McGee
You have seen the stats and heard the stories about how difficult marriages can be for those in the pastorate. Have you ever wondered what makes a pastor’s marriage different than the rest of the population? I was asked this question by a group of people preparing for ministry and here’s some of what I shared with them.
There are no unique rules for a great marriage. Great marriages are always comprised of things like good communication, fun, intimacy, quality time, humility, and conflict resolution. Pastors know those things because they teach them to others. What I’ve learned is that once you can teach something you can begin to think you are an exception to the rule. Those in ministry are not exempt because they are eloquent or smart, and God hasn’t changed the laws of relationships for them just because they serve Him. When thinking about what makes a pastor’s marriage different, perhaps the most important thing to remember is that the same rules of marriage apply to everyone. If pastors want a great marriage they will need to apply the same advice they give their congregants.
Although I started with the fact that a pastor’s marriage in many ways is not different, there are a few unique aspects I felt they should know as they were preparing for ministry.
Pastors do carry unique pressures. An occupational hazard of ministry can be the emotional weight pastors carry because there is always someone who needs them. Other occupations have pressures of deadlines or the volume of work, but there is something different and emotionally taxing about carrying the pain of others. Pastors encounter unique pressures that can impact their marriage, and they must learn how to deal with them. The answer for everyone will be different, but personally I’ve found that rituals can be helpful. As I drive home I pray through the difficult issues and people I am dealing with. I affirm that God is in control, and that He cares more about the people and situations than I do. I then imagine myself entrusting these people and situations to Him. I also trust that He will help me be present and engaged with my family and pray for energy and focus for my time with them. I told this group preparing for ministry that in every occupation, they would have to learn to balance work and family, but, as a pastor, they would also have to learn to deal with the emotional weight, or it would impact their marriage. I also encouraged them to continually ask their spouse if they were emotionally present at home.
Spouses also have unique challenges. Much has been written to men about how to protect their wives from the demands of the church and how to keep the congregation from feeling like the pastor’s wife is free labor. There is no doubt that a wife who feels she is there simply to support the pastor or be at the beck and call of the congregation will eventually become embittered toward the church and her husband. A wise husband will clearly communicate to the congregation that he is a team with his wife but that he is the only employee. I’ve also noticed that often the wife supports the husband’s ministry but there isn’t always reciprocation. This year one of my goals is to support my wife’s personal ministry. She has always done a great job helping me with my more public ministry but she really loves to encourage others one-on-one. One of my goals this year is to celebrate and support her ministry, which is more private, just as much as she supports my ministry, which is more public. Not realizing the unique pressures on your spouse can negatively impact your marriage but lovingly addressing them can actually be a big win for your marriage.
Your marriage presents a unique opportunity. Personally I love being a pastor and being married. Most days my wife would say the same about being married to a pastor. I love the way we get to pray for and see life change. I love that together we are doing something that will matter in eternity, and I love that our marriage actually impacts others. When my wife and I speak, I am amazed how often people will say something like, “I really appreciated what you said, but my biggest takeaway was watching the way you both related to each other. God convicted me that I need to be kinder and more respectful to my wife (or husband).” While there are many unique challenges of being married and in the ministry, I also think there are many unique opportunities and blessings if you are willing to look for them.
If you haven’t had the conversation with your spouse lately, a good question to discuss would be “What do you like about being married and in ministry, and what is difficult?” Their answers will give you some things to celebrate as well as some tangible ways you can help them, serve them, and build oneness in your marriage.

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