My Life and Walk With God

Senin, 16 November 2015

Adoption in Real Life

Focus on the Family has long been an advocate for vulnerable children in the United States and around the world. As a result, we’ve seen an increased emphasis on orphan care and adoption in Christian circles. Certainly, that is reason to celebrate.
What we’ve seen more recently is a trend among adoptive families toward more transparency. These families have begun to speak honestly about their struggles, their unmet expectations and the God who is big enough to see them through. This transparency encourages other adoptive families on similar journeys.
As you read the following stories, we hope you’ll more deeply understand the redemptive process that begins when “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6).

Our Weakness, His Power
by Kelly Rosati

Reshaping Expectations
by Michael Monroe

More Than Love
by John Moore

This article appeared in the October/November 2012 issue of Thriving Family magazine. Copyright © 2012 by Michael Monroe, John Moore, Kelly Rosati and Focus on the Family. Used by permission. ThrivingFamily.com.

Why Are Men Like Waffles? Why Are Women Like Spaghetti?

By Bill Farrel and Pam Farrel

Part of the Why Are Men Like Waffles? Why Are Women Like Spaghetti? Series

Series About:

God's Design for Marriage

husband and wife in front of chalkboard — Rido Franz/iStock/Thinkstock

At the very beginning of history God said, " 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.' … So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:26-27).
It was in God's plan to make men and women different from each other from the moment He imagined us. The original plan was to use these differences as a starting point for building intimate, fulfilling relationships. But in our sin-filled world, what started out as an advantage has become a frequent source of frustration.
Despite the frustration, the vast majority of us have an undeniable desire to have great relationships with the opposite sex. We want both male and female friends, we want successful business relationships with both men and women, and we want marriages that are happy and harmonious. That is why so many of our decisions are affected by how the opposite sex will respond.
It is possible to make too much out of the differences between men and women, but it is also possible to make the opposite mistake. If you want to have relationships that add to your life rather than make you exhausted, it seems to us that the place to start is with an understanding of the uniqueness each gender brings to the relationship.
So, how are you to understand the differences between men and women? We like to think of them this way: Men are like waffles; women are like spaghetti. At first this may seem silly, even juvenile, but stay with us. It is a picture that works and men "get it" (because it involves food).
This article is adapted from Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. Pam Farrel is the author of 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman. Bill Farrel is the author of 7 Simple Skills for Every Man. Together, they've written several other books.

Rabu, 11 November 2015

7 Ways to Celebrate Advent as a Church

by Harold D. Dinsmore on Monday, November 09, 2015 at 02:03 AM

Involve your entire church family as you celebrate Advent this year.

Advent has historically tied the first Advent (the coming of Christ in the manger at Bethlehem) to the second Advent (the snatching away of the redeemed as seen in 1 Thess. 4:13-18 and the coming of Christ to the earth in Rev. 1:7, 19:11-16).
Advent means coming.
Our Lord Jesus coming to earth was a history-changing, life-changing event. Had He not come on that night long ago as a babe in the manger, we would not have had the man Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. The reality of Advent never changes.

Advent Should Never Be Mundane

The coming of our Savior and Lord is too crucial to ever become mundane. However, the way we approach the Advent season (Christmas season) and the way we present the realities of the first Advent can mean the difference between someone coming to know the Christ of Christmas or not.
Advent has historically tied the First Advent (the coming of Christ in the manger at Bethlehem) to the Second Advent (the snatching away of the redeemed as seen in 1 Thess. 4:13-18 and the coming of Christ to the earth in Rev. 1:7, 19:11-16).

Connecting the First and Second Advent

One could easily connect these two comings of Christ together and celebrate them both. The first Advent of Jesus Christ set up the hope of believers in the promised second Advent. So don't neglect this dynamic of the season. Be bold and proclaim the Second Coming as loudly as the First Coming.
"So what do I need to know," you may ask, "to begin the celebration of Advent at our church?" Here are some elements to assist you and your congregation in celebrating the coming of our Lord.

1. Create or Choose Your Church's Advent Wreath

Choosing an Advent wreath is helpful and beautifully symbolic of the season. A basic Advent wreath consists of a circle with four candle holders with one candle in the middle. It may be garnished with holly or pine boughs. There are two types of Advent wreaths. One is a tabletop model and the other is a freestanding model.

2. Learn About the Advent Candles

The lighting of the Advent candles can become an important portion of the worship experience. We have used different members of the congregation each year to light the candles. Thus, they become active participants in the worship event. Each candle is rich in symbolism.
Three of the candles in the circle are purple. Historically, this color has symbolized penance. But you can modify any of the symbols to meet the needs of our own church. Purple also suggests royalty.
One candle in the circle is pink or rose. This usually is symbolic of the Rose of Sharon; Jesus Christ being the One who took upon Himself the penalty for our sins.
The center candle is white. It is called the Christ candle.

3. Lighting of the Advent Candles

Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas Day. Candles are lit on each of the four Sundays during Advent.

On the first Sunday, light the first candle.
On the second Sunday, light the first candle and a second one.
On the third Sunday, light the first two candles and add the third candle.
On the fourth Sunday, light the first three candles, then light the rose candle.

You may choose to light only one candle each Sunday. On Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or the Sunday following Christmas, light all the candles, plus the white candle. It will depend on whether you have a Christmas Eve or Christmas Day Service.

4. Involve Everyone in Worship

Once the basic order of Advent is known, the pastor or worship planning team can determine how candle lighters are selected. One suggestion is to use a wide variety of people within your church: singles, new members, young married adults, medium adults, seniors, families or any other group of your choosing.
This way you will provide an opportunity for several people to be involved in the worship experience.
After a person or family lights the candle, have them read a Messianic passage relating to the pastor's sermon for that day, or it could actually be his selected text.

5. Use an Advent Litany

Along with the lighting of the candles, highlight the event by some special action such as an Advent litany.
These responsive readings may be tailor-made for the selected theme for each Sunday of Advent. By searching periodicals and books you can find a host of ready-made litanies and adapt them for use, or you may simply write personalized litanies each year.

6. Get Educated About Advent

Above all else be sure to educate yourself and your congregation concerning the meaning of Advent. Learn the basics, but also seek to understand how individuals and families can celebrate this spiritual tradition.
With this new knowledge, you can introduce your church to a new tradition or bring fresh insight to the celebration of the season.

7. Choose a Particular Advent Theme (For Pastors)

There are four Sundays before Christmas which are part of the Advent tradition.
Choosing a theme can assist you in planning the entire worship service. It will help you in your sermon preparation as you structure your sermons around those particular themes. In the past, I have taken the theme for those days that have been chosen in advance and written sermons with the theme title.
Dare to do anything that provides variety but is in keeping with the biblical text. Here are some examples. Perhaps these will be helpful in suggesting others. Each of these sets represent one Advent season. Most of the sets have only four individual Sunday themes.
Theme Examples (Each Title Represents a Sunday Service):

Theme 1: Coming to Execute Justice, Coming to Forgive Sins, Coming to Renew Love, Coming to Feed the Hungry
Theme 2: The Bethlehem Candle, The Shepherd Candle, The Magi Candle, The Salvation Candle
Theme 3: Watch, Prepare, Witness, Rejoice
Theme 4: The Prophecy Candle, The Bethlehem Candle, The Shepherd Candle, The Angel Candle
Theme 5: The Light of Hope, The Light of Comfort, The Light of Peace, The Light of Joy
Theme 6: Always Watch, Always Prepare, Always Proclaim, Always Rejoice, Always Glorify (Christmas Eve or Christmas Day).

6 Ideas for Celebrating Advent as a Family

by Rhett Wilson on Monday, November 09, 2015 at 06:58 PM

Advent is the perfect time to focus on Jesus, the "reason for the season."

Advent, advent candles, advent wreath, Christmas tree, Christmas ornaments

Parents plan for it. Churches celebrate it. Stores open their doors early for it. Children long all year for it for it.
December 25, the most anticipated day of the year.

The Historical Expectation and Anticipation of Christmas

Historically, believers in God are marked with expectation and anticipation.

Abraham and Sarah waited for God to fulfill His promise to give them a son.
David longed for a temple for Jehovah in Jerusalem.
The magi followed a star, expecting the celestial sign to take them to the King of the Jews.

Since the ascension of Jesus Christ, believers have awaited His return. The Greek word parousia means "coming" or "arrival." The New Testament uses the word 17 times to describe the second coming of Christ.

Advent: The Coming of Christ

For Christians, Advent specifically signifies the four weeks leading up to Christmas day.
W. T. Ellis said, "It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air."
The Advent season can be a great time for families to celebrate "the reason for the season"—Jesus Christ. Look here for ways to create opportunities for your family to focus on Jesus amid all the holiday rush. Here are five ways to help your family celebrate Advent.

1. Read Advent Devotions as a Family

Enjoy a weekly family devotion during December based on a character from the Christmas story. Each week, read the Bible passages about that person and discuss the story.
See what lessons you and your family can learn about being a modern-day disciple of Jesus Christ from these Christmas characters. Find a Christmas song or carol that goes along with the character you are focusing on and introduce it to your family.

2. Creat an Advent Jesse Tree

This ancient tradition, based on Isaiah 11:1, helps children learn the Christmas story and related Scripture.
Start with either a small live or artificial tree. If you prefer, cut a tree out of construction paper and tape it to a wall. Select 24 Bible stories and create small ornaments that correspond with each story. Use construction paper, scissors, markers and other art supplies.
Beginning December 1, read and discuss the related Scripture, discuss the Bible account, and then place the ornament on the tree.

3. Make a Prayer Garland

Cut out 24 green and red construction paper strips. On each strip, write the name of a family member, friend or ministry. Staple the strips as links into one long garland. Hang the garland in your apartment or house as a decoration.
Every day in December, have a family member remove one of the paper strips. As a family, pray for the person or ministry whose name is on that strip of paper.

4. Build (or Buy) an Advent Box

Several years ago, I purchased a wooden box, painted with beautiful nutcrackers all over the front. The box has 24 small doors, each opening to a hiding place. During the first week of Advent, I place small toys, candies and inexpensive gifts behind each door.
I divide the first 24 days of December by my three children and assign each child eight days of the month. Each morning, one child opens the door with the current date and finds the surprise. My children enjoy the fun and anticipate the surprise.
Create a similar type of box, or use small paper bags decorated on the outside with a surprise gift placed inside. No two Advent boxes are the same, so use your imagination when creating yours.

5. Use Christmas Cards as Prayer Reminders

As Christmas cards arrive during December, place them in a basket in a noticeable area. Once a day, pull out one card and pray for that person or family together. Keep the Christmas card basket out all year and pray regularly for other families.
You may want to write the person a note signed by your family that says, "We prayed for you today."
Advent, advent candles, advent wreath

6. Create (or Buy) Your Own Advent Wreath with Candles

An Advent wreath is helpful and beautifully symbolic of the season. A basic Advent wreath consists of a circle with four candle holders with one candle in the middle. It may be garnished with holly or pine boughs.
The Advent wreath can serve as a perfect teaching moment too. Point out the colors to your children, and talk about what they mean. To learn more about the wreath, check out numbers 1-3 on this article.
Article courtesy of HomeLife magazine.

Senin, 09 November 2015

Your Spouse is Not the Enemy

By Brett Sparks

Part of the Intensive Marriage Counseling Series

Series About:

Divorce and Infidelity

A couple sits on opposite sides of a bench

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25

The dice went flying across the room. A friendly game of Yahtzee had just turned bad. Sad to say that was me that hit the box and sent the dice through the air. I was angry because those very dice were just not rolling in my favor and I was losing to my wife. I hate to lose and that is exactly what was happening. I guess I was reacting to that old adage that if all else fails just disrupt the game so you can’t finish and thus cannot lose. Needless to say, that belief didn’t work at the age of five and it certainly wasn’t working for me as an adult. My actions shocked my wife. My actions shocked me. It was clearly not one of my better moments. Truth is my actions were actually a loss for me and my relationship. Fortunately it was just a game, but it was symbolic of the early struggles my wife and I had in trying to become one.

Have you ever felt that you were in competition with your spouse?

Ever felt like you were on two sides of the battlefield trying to wage war with one another? Maybe you raise your voice to emphasize a point and your spouse raises their voice right back (or retreats to another room). Perhaps you nitpick one another endlessly to show how the other could do it better, differently, or more like you. Maybe you think your spouse gets to go have all the fun and you are stuck having to watch the kids. There are probably countless scenarios in which you might feel that you and your spouse are not on the same page and in fact playing against each other in the “game” of love, relationship, life, or whatever you want to call it. My guess is that if you find yourself in competition with your spouse on a regular basis, it probably leaves you feeling pretty discouraged and weary. It may even lead to wanting off your team. (If this describes you, please consider intensive marriage counseling before it is too late)
It just isn’t any fun to be going against someone with whom you desire, or at least at one time desired, to be on your side. After all, the purpose of marriage has never been about competition with one another. God’s word describes marriage in this way: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24.) That sounds like anything but competition. Unity is the goal of marriage. Not sameness where we look, think, act, and believe all the same things. Sameness leads to one person being unnecessary. Instead, God appears to desire unity of purpose (to glorify Him) while maintaining, honoring, admiring, and accepting uniqueness. After all, the body of Christ is called to be unified but cannot function unless multiple body parts are represented. Both of you are important to your team and your team is important to God, your children and those around you.

A marriage with two people who feel like they are enemies of one another is not a safe or fun marriage.

It is time today to think about how you might break that competitive cycle. Here are some thoughts:

Remember that you are on the same team. Commit to playing cooperatively versus competitively. Truth is, if you go looking for evidence that your spouse is your enemy, you will find it. However, if you want to see your marriage as a team, then start looking for evidence that it could be. If you go looking, don’t minimize what you find.
Embrace differences and let them be growth opportunities. As I noted before, the body of Christ has different parts that come together in unity. Same for our marriages, we are each uniquely created individuals. Are you willing to see your spouse as a creature to whom God gave unique gifts, talents and experiences? Would you be willing to embrace and dare I say even value the way that person differs from you? You might experience your spouse in a whole new way if you do. Don’t get me wrong, differences can be a great source of frustration. This is why they present as growth opportunities if you are willing to view them as such. As a result of how my wife and I differ, I get a chance to grow in my ability to manage frustration, embrace someone who is different from me, begin to modify something about me, etc. Sound unreal? Give it a try and see.
Know that there is an adversary; it’s just not your mate. Scripture describes this adversary as roaming about like a lion waiting to devour. He is also described as a thief who is bent on robbing, killing and destroying. That is who our true enemy is, not each other.
Act more like a teammate and less like an adversary. Do you realize that teammates become really good at what they do? They work tirelessly to practice and hone their skills individually while also learning how to fit into the team. Are you willing to commit to that? Are you willing to put the effort into running the race (marathon) of your marriage to the best of your ability regardless of how the other runner shows up?
I can hear the argument already, “My spouse never (won’t/can’t/doesn’t) plays like a teammate.” Well that does complicate things, but let me challenge you that it does not mean you have to stop being the best team member you can be. As Christians we are called to run the race. We are asked to sacrifice something to pursue Christ and become like Him. So you say you can’t do that. Your situation is too unique. Your spouse is too cruel, or too distant, or too controlling, or too whatever. Well, I would agree with you that you can’t do it alone. That is precisely the point; you can’t but He can. We cannot be great teammates on our own, but we serve a God who is way bigger than the problems we face. That doesn’t mean we stop trying. It does mean that we have to keep our focus on where our true strength lies (see Philippians 4:13).
I hope these ideas are helpful to you becoming a team player in your marriage. They have been of help to me in mine. If you pursue this, there will be difficult moments but there also could be great rewards. Let me offer you the first words of encouragement as any good fan would do, “Go Team!”
If you are interested in learning more about becoming great teammates, check out some of National Institute of Marriage’s resources online.

Choosing Contentment

by Kay Wills Wyma

"Mom, can we go dress shopping this week?" my 13-year-old daughter, Barton, asked. I had just picked her up from a cotillion class where she was learning about manners and social skills.

"Honey, you look fine," I said. "And your dress was OK last year."

"Yeah, last year," she muttered.

"I hear you," I assured her. "We will get you another dress."

"Another dress?" she replied, a little indignant. "There are five more classes!"

I paused, letting her response sink in. "Are you thinking you need a different dress for every class?"

"Well, yeah."

"Honey, that is so not going to happen."

In my daughter's mind, everyone would be wearing different dresses every week; everyone except her. Somehow, she had become the center of her own attention and could no longer enjoy her cotillion experience because she was comparing herself to others.

The comparison game

In all honesty, I'm guilty of the same patterns of thinking that my daughter expressed that day in the car. It's not just our children who struggle with comparison. As moms, we know it can be hard to find comfort in our own skin, our own clothing, our own homes. This can be especially challenging as the holidays approach and we are reminded of what we do not have.

Teens may play the comparison game with cotillion dresses, just as moms can play it in myriad other ways, but the result is often the same: ingratitude. At times like these, perspective offers us a minute to breathe, to hit the pause button and to see our situations more clearly. If we can take our eyes off ourselves long enough to quit comparing, we just might catch a glimpse of all the good things and good people in our lives.

A new perspective

It may be the season for giving thanks, but Christmas cards will begin to trickle in and I'm often tempted to think my family is less-than. And then I wonder how my children might also fall into the temptation to try to measure up. That's when a better perspective can help us look around the kitchen table and be grateful for each and every unique personality represented there — even if Mom of the Year, Eagle Scout or National Merit Finalist isn't written by our names.

Whether we're talking clothing or accomplishments, decor or finances, it's easy to focus on the fact that some people simply have more. So we need to acknowledge that comparing ourselves to others has the potential to seriously undermine our contentment and undercut our relationships.

Gratitude can serve to jump-start our contentment, but it's hard to be grateful with our eyes focused on ourselves. When our focus shifts away from "me," we can see others in need of encouragement and love. And we get to live according to the Great Commandment — loving God and loving others.

Contentment

Even in a culture of comparison, you can find contentment when you take the necessary steps to train yourself — and your children — to practice gratitude.

Step One: Recognize your own discontentment. When you're open and honest about your own struggles, you're better equipped to help your children with theirs.

Step Two: Lead by example. Before helping someone else, it's best to start by helping yourself. It's easy to see comparison struggles in your children, but the same issues may crowd all of your days.

Step Three: Do a mental reboot. Encouraging words may be great, but actions go a long way in taming your tendency to struggle with comparison. Consider using the control-alt-delete process:

• Control your thoughts. Catch those uneasy notions at the onset.

• Opt for an alternate perspective. Be grateful for life and for your many blessings (James 1:17).

• Then, delete or stop comparing. Just don't do it.

As we approach this holiday season, we'll find it's the perfect time of year to recapture contentment in our hearts and in our homes. Gratitude helps to shift our focus so we can move beyond being the center of our own attention.

Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, speaker and the author of I'm Happy for You (Sort Of . . . Not Really).

Your Appointment Still Awaits You

Your Appointment Still Awaits You
(En Español)

Appointed Time
In spite of escalating turmoil in our world, there still remains one last, great outpouring of mercy before the time of the end (Matt. 24:14; Acts 2:17). This supernatural season is not something for which we must beg God. No, its coming has been predetermined. It is the "appointed time" of the Lord.

An "appointed" or "fixed" time is an open display of the sovereignty and power of God, whether it is in calling a person or calling a nation. In it we discover with absolute certainty that nothing is impossible for God. It is a season when God fulfills the hopes and dreams of His people

As it is written,

"But You, O Lord, abide forever, and Your name to all generations. You will arise and have compassion on Zion; for it is time to be gracious to her, for the appointed time has come" (Ps. 102:12-13).

During an "appointed time" it is as though the Lord physically rises and moves in unfailing compassion on behalf of His people. It is the time when divine promises, dreams and spiritual hopes are fulfilled. Recall: Abraham and Sarah had waited in faith for a quarter-century for the promise of God. Finally, as they neared one hundred years of age, the Lord told Abraham, "At the appointed time I will return to you . . . and Sarah will have a son" (Gen. 18:14). One year later, "at the appointed time" (Gen. 21:2), Isaac was born to aged parents!

While there are, indeed, appointed times of judgment (Mark 13:33), this phrase most frequently represents a time, preset by God, when He invades mankind with "wonders, plans formed long ago, [that unfold] with perfect faithfulness" (Isa .25:1).

Demons may stand arrayed against the Lord; nations may align themselves to fight Him. It does not matter. "He who sits in the heavens laughs" (Ps. 2:4). For He makes all things His servants (Ps. 119:91), even His enemies' plans for evil are reversed and made to serve the purpose of God (Gen. 50:20; Rom. 8:28; Acts 2:22-24).

If God gave you a vision, a spiritual hope or dream for your future, there will be an appointed time when that which God spoke comes to pass. Thus the Lord assures us, "Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the appointed time. It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay" (Hab. 2:2-3, italics mine). Though your vision may tarry, wait for it. For it will certainly come to pass at the appointed time.

Appointed Servants of God
Consider the Lord's word to His disciples. He said,

"You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain" (John 15:16).

The disciples certainly felt that they had chosen Christ. Yet the deeper truth was that God chose them before the foundation of the world. Likewise, He chose us and predestined us to come to Christ (Eph. 1:3-5). We could not even come to Christ had not the Father drawn us (John 6:44). Yet He who chose us also appointed us to bear fruit. The same power that worked in us our surrender and faith continues to work in our hearts, appointing us to bear fruit. Do you believe God has chosen you? Then believe also that He has appointed you to bear fruit.

The Enemy's Work
One may argue, "But I know people who were good Christians who have fallen away." Yes, but in most cases you will find that prior to falling away they first fell into deep disappointment about a failed spiritual expectation. You see, disappointment is not just a depressed emotional state of mind; deep disappointment actually can sever our hearts from faith. It can "dis-appoint" us from our otherwise appointed destiny.

I have known many who were doing well, moving toward their destiny. The future God had for them seemed close enough to taste. Then they became disappointed in someone or something. By accepting a demonically manipulated disappointment into their spirits, and letting that event germinate and grow into a disappointment with God, a bitter cold winter overtook their souls and their destiny went dormant.

When one is dis-appointed, he is cut off from his appointment with destiny. Their appointed breakthrough remains in the heart of God, but the individual is isolated by unbelief. Hope deferred has made their heart sick. It is here, even in the throes of disappointment, that the righteous must learn to live by faith (see Hab. 2:1-4).

Listen well my friend: Satan will stop your destiny if you accept the power of disappointment into your life. Disappointment cuts us off from our vision, and without a vision people perish.

Therefore, let me ask you: Are you carrying disappointment in your heart? Renounce it. Forgive those who have let you down. Have you personally or morally failed? Repent deeply and return to your Redeemer. Right now, I ask the Holy Spirit to remove the paralyzing sting of disappointment from your heart! Holy Spirit, deliver your people this day from the effect of the disappointment. Let them know that their appointment with destiny is still set.

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Adapted from Francis Frangipane's book, This Day We Fight, available at www.arrowbookstore.com.

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