Things You Should Notice

Things You Should Notice

Do you find that you often get too busy to notice?

Notice what?

- Did you notice that today your wife was wearing something new?

- Did you notice that your husband was trying to be more considerate?

- Did you notice that your wife was trying to get a message across to you without just coming out and saying it? Did you not notice the hints she was dropping?

- Did you notice that your husband was not himself, and was carrying a care deep inside?

You can get so busy with your life and your work that you often are too wrapped up in yourself. When this happens, you tend to neglect the most important person in your life.

If your spouse is like most other spouses this is what will happen. She will start to feel that you do not love her. He will feel that he is not very important to you.

So here is the project I would like to give you for today. It is a very simple one, and will cost you little time and effort. But the results will be worth far more than what it cost you.

1. Try to be aware of what is happening inside your partner. Look carefully at them and see what you can discover.

2. In counseling we call this ‘halo data.’ It is the things that someone says without really saying anything. Some people have called this body language. They say that you can tell what is in a person’s mind from the way they move their body. But as a believer you have more than that. You have the revelation of the Holy Spirit.

3. Say something to show your partner that you have noticed them. If she is wearing a nice dress; if her hair is looking good; if her makeup is done well; anything at all that you can notice. This might be something small, but just saying it can have a wonderful effect on the person.

4. Do not try to point out the negative things. This will make the person feel unhappy and condemned. Rather find something that will make you say, “I really like that.”

If you get into the habit of doing this all the time, you will be amazed what a difference it will make in your relationship. And it is not only women who need this, but the men also. We all have a need for acceptance and recognition at times. And who better to help meet this need than the person who is closest to you?

What if your partner asks your opinion and you have to give an honest answer? What if you wife asks, “What do you think of this dress?” and you think it is really horrible. Do you just tell her the truth.

Yes, you must always tell the truth. You cannot lie. But the Scripture shows us how we should tell the truth.

Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in [agape] love, may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, [namely] Christ: (GMR)

There is a way to tell the truth that will bring pain, and there is a way to tell the truth that will encourage and motivate.

If you are mentoring someone, you might have to tell the truth in order to chisel away the stone and expose their inner hearts. But your spouse is not your disciple. He or she is your partner. So when you tell the truth or address a fault, you must realize that you are actually also speaking to yourself.

Your husband or wife are part of you in the Lord. So when you try to fix something, realize that if you hurt your partner, you are also hurting yourself. And realize also that if your partner fails, you have also failed. Because God sees you as one person in Him.

So to end this now, what should you be doing?

A. You should be looking all the time for good things that you can praise.

B. You should be looking for your own failures, and not those of your partner.

C. You should be telling your partner the lovely little things that you have noticed.

We will speak more about all of these things in the days and weeks that lie ahead. But today, why not start noticing your spouse like never before?

I know you are going to experience a wonderful blessing when you do this.