23 Things That Love Is

By Paul David Tripp

“Here’s a gospel-centered reminder about how to love.”

Last year I posted an aticle with a long list of definitions of what love is, 23 definitions to be exact. Since you and I have the tendency to be distracted and forgetful, I want to post that list again.
Here’s a gospel-centered reminder about how to love. But you don’t have to be romantically in love to find this list practical. Every healthy relationship requires love and sacrifice, so if you’re a parent, child, sibling, neighbor, pastor or co-worker, this list is for you.
God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.

23 Things That Love Is

1. LOVE IS … being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
2. LOVE IS … actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
3. LOVE IS … making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
4. LOVE IS … being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
5. LOVE IS … being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing or being right.
6. LOVE IS … making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
7. LOVE IS … being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.
8. LOVE IS … making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature and patient.
9. LOVE IS … being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.
10.  LOVE IS … being a good student of another, looking for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it or encourage them along the way. 
11. LOVE IS … being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response. 
12. LOVE IS … being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
13. LOVE IS … speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.
14. LOVE IS … being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.
15. LOVE IS … being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
16. LOVE IS … the willingness to have less free time, less sleep and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a spouse, parent, neighbor, etc.
17. LOVE IS … a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding and active love in your relationships.
18. LOVE IS … staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.
19. LOVE IS … the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.
20. LOVE IS … being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person or weaken the bond of trust between you.
21. LOVE IS … refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.
22. LOVE IS … daily admitting to yourself, the other person and God that you are unable to be driven by a cruciform love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing and delivering grace.  
“This resource is from Paul Tripp Ministries. For additional resources, visit www.paultripp.com. Used with permission.”

Paul David Tripp is a pastor, author, and international conference speaker. He is the president of Paul Tripp Ministries and works to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. This vision has led Paul to write many books on Christian living and travel around the world speaking and teaching. Paul's driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of Jesus Christ speaks with practical hope into all the things people face in this broken world. Paul and his wife Luella reside Philadelphia. They are the parents of four grown children. More from Paul David Tripp or visit Paul David at http://paultripp.com/