My church was conducting a revival. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, a revival was week-long time in the life of a church with its purpose being spiritual renewal for those in attendance. Revivals also have a guest speaker who was each evening’s communicator.
The communicator for this particular week was Manley Beasley Jr. One evening he was speaking on the subject of marriage when he gave the best leadership advice I ever heard. When a husband and wife are in a disagreement or argument, the husband should always back down, apologize, and let the wife win – especially when he is RIGHT and has nothing to apologize for!
This has already been modeled for us. This is what Jesus did on the cross. Jesus was absolutely right in everything He did and said. He did nothing wrong. Jesus was perfect and without error. Yet He took all the blame, all the abuse, all the embarrassment, and paid the ultimate price of death on a cross so the relationship with His bride, the church, could be restored.
Nothing has helped my marriage more over the years than applying this principle. Men, we have a gift for naturally messing up and saying the wrong things. Just say the words, “I’m sorry.” The funny thing is you do not shed any new light to your wife or those closest to you. They already know you have messed up.
Men, when you are in a hole stop digging. Some of you need reading this post right now need to apologize. Even if you think you’re right (and you very well may be), remember what Jesus did on the cross. Then the pain and embarrassment you will feel will not seem so bad.
If you practice this type of servant leadership, you may have a marriage that stands the test of time.